tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-209846172024-03-13T10:26:45.394-05:00The Life and Times of Rixie the 4thLynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.comBlogger318125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-3966595194202487302022-03-08T09:45:00.000-05:002022-03-08T09:45:30.373-05:00How Star Wars changed what I prayI recently went through all of the Star Wars movies again, and had something new (to me) strike me. Rey was trying to connect with past Jedi. She would sit and meditate and repeat, "Be with me. Be with me. Be with me." Each time, she was left feeling empty and alone. Rey's problem wasn't that the Jedi weren't with her. The problem was that Rey had not yet committed to being with the Jedi. The difference between the two really spoke to me. <div>When the kids were little, and I had to go to the grocery store, I would give Nikki the job of keeping one hand on the cart to prevent her from straying while I tried to figure out where Walmart had moved the Pop Tarts to this week. She was with me. If she wasn't with me, she panicked, I panicked, and nothing was okay until she was with me again. <br />In the grocery store of life, have you wandered off to look at the toys while God is busy planning your meals for the week in the produce section? And if so, does God need to be with you, or do you need to stop, turn around, and go back to being with God? When we go through a season of not feeling the presence of God, we tend to panic. Without fail, people get stupid when they panic. We pray on repeat to be able to feel God with us, when in reality, we should probably be asking God to draw us back to Him. <br />This is the moment. Your name is being called over the store's PA system. Please return to the front of the store and be with God. <br /><br />My son wisely pointed out, as I was reading this through to him, that wandering around the toy section without your mom is how you get kidnapped. There is a lesson in that too. The last thing any of us want is for God to have to call a Code Adam on us. (Too obscure? Do people still know what that means? Have I lost you? It is a kidnapping thing) </div>Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-67808762338849934412022-02-14T16:37:00.004-05:002022-02-14T19:57:32.740-05:00The Curse of First Comment<p> Not long after the greater internet became mainstream, it was very common for the first five or six (minimum) comments on a video to be "first comment". It was annoying and stupid, but it was also foreshadowing to a cultural shift. Everyone wanted to be first, to see it first, to react to it first, and to tell it first, all on a global scale that was unavailable to us before.</p><p>Being the first with the news took a big hit when George W. Bush ran against Al Gore, and we had the infamous election of the hanging chads. In the media's rush to be the first to call a state's results, they predicted wrong. I was working at a small tv news station at the time, and the behind the scenes panic was off the charts. Big questions got asked about the media's rush to be first being put ahead of responsible journalism. These discussion were still ongoing when the unthinkable happened on 9-11. This sent use into a new kind of spiral, and desire for any and all information. The "Breaking News" crawl was invented and became a permanent fixture on our screen. A graphics trick that had formerly been reserved for national emergencies was now being used for anything and everything. The rules of responsible reporting slowly drained out of reporting. It was more important to tell it first, and correct it later if you got it wrong, but no one listens to the corrections. </p><p>Social media then turned us all into mini reporters. We started by reporting what we ate for dinner and what silly things our kids did. At some point, social media became about sharing outrage. Headlines are geared towards it. They bank on people not reading past the opening paragraph before hitting that share button. On top of that, when a shocking story gets shared, we jump to comment based on limited facts so that we can be within the first people to react. </p><p>The problem with reacting first and researching never is that more and more people have very firm opinions on subjects they have a completely false picture of. We have created an artificial multiverse within our lives, and when another person is not in the same fake world as us, we react with intolerant rage. </p><p>One recent example that comes to mind is the banning of a book. With a look at only the headlines, the entire state of Tennessee banned a book about mice living through the Holocaust. That sounds insane, I am pro-historical mice and anti- book banning. How dare they?! However, I have a rule that I teach my kids. If a book gets banned, ask why. Find out what the book is about. Why were its ideas deemed dangerous. There are places that banned the Bible, which I consider a holy text, so I don't blanket trust a government telling me not to read something. As it turns out, the book wasn't banned from the state, it was taken out of one state funded school system. They have that right, but again, what was the reasoning? Well, the ultimate reason was because it was a graphic novel with drawings of graphically naked mice in somewhat human form in it. Now the question becomes, what school librarian stocked a book with naked pictures for underaged children? To properly react to this story, you should ask how many schools actually had this book, was it assigned reading, were there complaints, can the book be obtained in ways other than getting it in school, who made the decision, what was the opposition's defense of stocking the book? If all you read was either the "book banning" headline or the "nakedness" headline, then you probably didn't know enough to react responsibly, and yet everyone did and if you disagreed you were a prude or a pervert. Shockingly, I think the truth lays somewhere in the middle, but no one likes to be in the middle. </p><p>Outrage has gotten out of hand. In our rush to react we have removed politeness and reason and no longer give people the benefit of the doubt when their first reaction is different than our own. I feel like the plague and the last election brought us to a boiling point, and we have all just stayed on a rolling boil for the last several years. I think the antidote is grace and compassion paired with facts and details, and most of all, a good dose of humility. Don't promote a cause you haven't researched. Don't share an article you haven't read. Don't look for reasons to be mad about everything. Take a breath, pause for reflection, and ask yourself if you have looked at the whole story or if you are just seeking "first comment" status. <br /><br />*This post was pointed directly to a specific person. They know who they are because they are me. I have been guilty of this. I have jumped in with opinions too soon. A national event I was involved with changed that, and I have been trying to do better for the last couple of years. That being said, if you saw yourself in this, I hope it helps you find a reset of your own. </p>Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-76714236282651750822022-01-05T12:59:00.001-05:002022-01-05T12:59:48.770-05:00Catching Up<p> I was considering trying to write again. We had some lean years of death and bad health and global insanity, and in all of that, I kind of lost my voice. I was lucky to be able to write something fun as a social media post, so I certainly wasn't writing in blog length. </p><p>I checked in today to see if the blog was still here, and to my surprise, I had several blog posts in draft form that I had totally forgotten about. I have since hit the publish button on them, so I apologize if you just got hit with several notifications on that. I kind of assumed no one was looking. </p><p>I guess I was holding them back because for whatever reason the time didn't seem right. It probably still isn't the right time, but I didn't want all the posts that showed up to be full of sadness. </p><p>So, let's recap what has happened:</p><p><br />Global pandemic</p><p>Nix got married</p><p>JD got accepted to college and starts in the fall</p><p> We sold our house and moved for the first time in a lot of years</p><p>I think that pretty much sums things up. Maybe I can convince myself to take up writing again. </p>Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-3853028631060777362022-01-05T12:41:00.005-05:002022-01-05T12:41:48.494-05:00How a pineapple changed my viewI love a good analogy. It is so much more fun to learn from examples than by doing things on your own and learning the hard way. With that in mind, I have a story to share.<br />
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I have a friend who had the cutest pineapple decor for her front porch. Very fun, summer, decor. She moved to a new state, and carried her pineapples with her. After she had been in her new home for a little while, one of her new neighbors told her something rather unexpected. In this area, pineapple welcome mats were code for couples who are looking for other couples who like to, um...., "make a temporary partner swap" as a "lifestyle". I hope you follow me because I'm not going to explain beyond that. Let's just say it was something my friend was most certainly NOT involved with. She was horrified and changed out her decor. It then became a funny store of that time she had to take the "swing" off her doorstep.<br />She did not give the neighborhood facebook page a lecture on the history of pineapples. She didn't buy more pineapples. She didn't dismiss it as one person's opinion. She didn't want to risk anyone knocking on her door thinking that her and her husband were up to something. She wanted no association with it at all. <br />I like pineapples. I like their color. I am a fan of delicious flavor. I enjoy the show Psych and their regular bit about pineapples amuses me. However, if someone told me that pineapples were associated with puppy drowning, I would never display another pineapple again. It would be an instant change.<div><br /></div><div>It is important to know your lines, why they are there, and if you can really justify not changing. <br />I won't be apologizing for holding onto my faith or my family, but everything else can be negotiated because times change, symbols change, and people corrupt innocent things all the time. <br /><br />Has the symbol you hold onto been corrupted? Is it time to drop it and realize it isn't a battle that benefits anyone? </div>Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-74127399573801203212022-01-05T12:35:00.003-05:002022-02-14T17:09:01.405-05:00Why You Shouldn't Force Your Kid to Go to ChurchThe title of this post is a tiny bit misleading, and I apologize for that. I am about to give you a list of why you shouldn't force your kid to go to church, but it isn't a condemnation of dragging your kids to church at all. In fact, I do have the rule that if you live in my house, you go to church. It is just that I think that rule should come with a giant *.<br />
Not too long ago, a famous church lady posted a mini rant about how you should always drag your kid to church especially those rebellious, moping, too cool for church, teenagers. No excuses. No whining. Get yourself in the car and go to church. It came at a time when I had just allowed my teens to sit out, so it struck me wrong. I am not looking to justify my decision. I just want to politely point out that there are valid reasons to not force your kids into church. So here goes...<br />
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When you have a child who starts putting up a fight about going to church, it is vitally important to find out why. Here are a few things that might make it justifiable.<br />
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The most important one to talk about is one of the ones no one wants to talk about. Abuse. More often than not, children are abused by someone they know in a location that the parents feel is safe such as their own homes, school, and yes, church. There is nothing magical about walking through the doors of a church that suddenly makes a person not a predator. Someone being made a Sunday School teacher or a deacon or even a pastor doesn't prevent them from being humans who do bad things. I am not suggesting that you ask your kid if someone at church is molesting them. What I am saying is that kids are incredibly perceptive and you should ask them if there is anyone at church making them feel uneasy, even if they aren't sure why. If the answer is yes, don't freak out. Just make sure your child doesn't interact with that person alone, and be observant of their interactions. I hope I don't have to say this, but just in case I do, if you do know of actual abuse, report it. Do not hesitate. Do not worry about what people will think. Report it. In most cases the kid being abused isn't the first and won't be the last unless someone stops them. Speak up. Don't gossip about it. Just go to the police and let them sort it out.<br />
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Another thing we don't like to talk about is church cliques. Most churches have them even if they try not to. All youth groups have them. Everyone seems to think that their youth group is different. I assure you, it is not. I have seen exclusion in youth groups that was so bad that even Regina George would be taken aback. "Everyone is equally invited to everything, and the kids are encouraged to make sure everyone feels included." How nice. Do you see that kid who spends their time talking with the adult? How about the one who is always so helpful and cleaning up? The kid who seems to always be late and never comes to the more social events? The kid who talks the most during class time? Watch their interactions with the other kids. The body language. The eye rolls. The sighs and excuses to walk away. They deal with not sitting at the cool table everyday at school. Why would they want to deal with that at church?<br />
<br />Finally, there is actually a chance that your kid sees a spiritual problem in the church that you don't, or more likely, one you have been ignoring. Drawing from my own experience, kids can see things in simple terms which can be a real benefit. For example, say you've noticed that your class study guides have gotten kind of thin. They don't really help you grow as a Christian. You gain more from class discussion, but only if the class is in the mood to discuss. Otherwise, you sit through a lame talk for an hour to then move to some form of music and another lecture that maybe has gotten a bit watered down or redundant. As an adult, I get that these things tend to ebb and flow, but if church has been more social interaction and concert time for you than actual spiritual growth, then your kid might know it and feels the lack of authenticity. To their mind it is a simple question. If church isn't helping then shouldn't a change be made? <div><br /></div><div>Church hurt is real, and it is a struggle for mature Christian adults to process. So, if your kid is making every excuse in the book to not go, maybe ask them why before assuming you need to drag them in. <br />
<br /></div>Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-65958913894770429402022-01-05T10:46:00.006-05:002022-02-14T17:12:43.586-05:00Dear Christian Parents and Youth Leaders<p> It is one week until my daughter's wedding. I am full of nervous energy and checklists and making sure the one day goes right, or at least as right a possible. I have avoided any talk of how much things are about to change, but watching her slowly move out of her room in preparation has forced my hand. So, I am trying a little creative avoidance in the form of blogging an insight that hit me fairly hard yesterday.</p><p>Nix was packing away her bookshelves, and brought a stack to me of all the books that were required reading in high school. She knew that JD might be required to read them, so it would be nice to have easy access to them. As I looked over titles like Slaughterhouse Five and Street Car Named Desire I realized that we require a lot of our kids in school. Within this stack there are a lot of complex emotions and life concepts that I probably wouldn't have introduced on my own or wouldn't have known how to. That has its pros and cons. From there I flashed to the books that I did bring into her life. We took her to Narnia and Middle Earth, taught her the best ways to hitchhike through the galaxy, and showed her what is on the other side of the looking glass. Then there is the most complex and important book of either stack, the Bible. </p><p>All too often, we look at the happy fluffy parts of the Bible with our kids, and never dig into the deep parts. In the early years it is all about Noah's rainbow and fishing with the disciples. As they grow older, we tend towards teaching them behavioral concepts. We talk to them about being trustworthy, loyal, helpful, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. We don't talk to them about the guy that was eaten by worms or that time David's child died as punishment for having slept with another man's wife and then had the guy set up to die. We talk about Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt for looking back with longing over the sinful world they were leaving behind. We don't talk about Lot's daughter's getting him drunk and having sex with him so they could get pregnant. No, that's an ugly story with complex ideas that we don't think our kids could grasp. So, Shakespeare and Tolkien, but not Leviticus? Then we are going to throw them out into the world to encounter atheists, or worse, cults? Do you know what part of the Bible atheists love to quote? I'll give you a hint, it isn't out of Roman's. If all you have taught your kid from the Bible is that God is love, but not the full weight of what that means, or "Judge not", and not the concept of discernment, you are setting them up for failure of the worst kind. <br />I guess what I am saying is that we can not sugar coat and dumb down the Bible because "they are just kids" but then expect them to give a detailed analysis of The Catcher in the Rye. Either they can handle it or they can't. You can not keep giving kids only half of the story. Besides, finding out the Bible probably should come with a parental guidance tag and MA rating would probably get their attention. </p><p><br /></p><p> <span face="Roboto, arial, sans-serif" style="color: #202124;"><span style="background-color: white;"> </span></span></p><p><br /></p>Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-56162530334795545992022-01-05T10:31:00.001-05:002022-02-14T17:14:24.668-05:00Family Feud and Fake NewsI recently saw this old clip from Family Feud that got me thinking about the current state of reporting. It is probably a weird connection to make, but when has that ever stopped me.<br />
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First, the clip. </div>
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<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/NWZTJun8-OA" width="560"></iframe><br />
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The lesson I took from this is that if you ask 102 people a really simple question, you run the risk of getting a couple of really stupid answers.<br />
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On the same day I saw this I also read an article about candy ducks being pulled from the market due to outrage over them being racist. Had I stopped at the headline, or even the first paragraph, I might have walked away thinking that there had been actual outcry over the term "ugly duckling" being applied to a duck shaped piece of milk chocolate. That wasn't the case. One person wrote something on twitter about it. That one person didn't even seem all that worked up about it. They might have even just been joking. It is hard to tell.<br />
Next, I read an article about another outrage. After reading the entire thing, I got to the last paragraph and found out that a grand total of 2 unnamed people were the ones complaining.<br />
Do you see the connection now? We have stopped reporting on what most people think, and started looking for the one guy who would say alligator. Before long, you start to think that the world is filled with the alligator and frog people and you must be the last rational person who knows that the answer should be dog or cat.<br />Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-86650728592402224182020-06-07T12:55:00.001-05:002020-06-07T12:55:48.872-05:00What does your billboard say? This started out as just a regular Facebook status, but then it got long and I remembered I have a blog, and can actually express my thought in more than 40 characters (or whatever the twitter number is now).<br />
This is mainly to speak to my Christian friends. The ones who are suppose to be united in love and truth and share the goal of spreading the message of the Bible. However, I want to hold myself more broadly accountable, so I am posting for all to see.<br />
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Social Media gives us an opportunity to convey who we are and what we are about to people who might not otherwise know us very well. I'd encourage you to take a minute and look at your own profile page. Scroll through as if you were someone you barely knew, someone considering hiring you, someone trying to decide if they can come to you for guidance, wisdom, and safety.<br />
Have you presented yourself the way you want to?<br />
Would you ask this person to pray with you over a private matter?<br />
Would you trust this person to have a firm foundation in Christ?<br />
This is the really hard one. If you wanted to know what a Christian lives like on a normal day, would your profile page encourage you, or scare you off of "church people"?<br />
After you have scrolled a bit, has your blood pressure gone up seeing all the things that have upset you over the past few days, or do you have a warm fuzzy feeling from the love and joy before you?<br />
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With love and respect and concern, I have to say that I see so many people doing nothing on social media except reposting articles that reinforce whatever political opinion they hold to an extreme. So much so that I have seen more than one of you post a clearly satirical article as fact because it affirmed your fears. That's not okay. That kind of thing hugely damages your testimony. How can I trust you to know anything about something as enormous as the subject of the kingdom of God when you fell for the classic blunder of going up against a Sicilian with death is on the line?<br />
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I love you guys, and love that most of you will recognize the not so subtle Princess Bride joke I just slipped in. I want what is best for you all, and I just don't want to see you hurting your ability to do your most important job for the momentary relief of trying to show up strangers on the internet.<br />
<br />Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-47480168049810742292019-01-09T10:12:00.000-05:002019-01-09T10:12:14.778-05:004am GriefBefore the actual post starts, I want to explain that putting words on paper is my therapy. It gets the hard thoughts out of my head and onto something I can see. It heals me. I have been told a time or two that these words help others know me better, and sometimes helps them put words to their own thoughts. It is with that in mind that I publish an unplanned therapy session from a couple of nights ago. It was good for me, and I feel so much better today.<br />
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For the past few weeks, life has been nonstop for me. I had more than one person comment on how well I was handling it all. My standard joke was that I was running on adrenaline and denial. I knew it would all catch up to me "next week", but I had been successfully pushing back "next week". That is, until 4am. That is when it all crashed in. I woke up hoping it was just my middle aged bladder, but it wasn't. Then, I hoped it was just a crick in my neck I'd been battling, but that wasn't it either. My mind was racing with thoughts of my kitchen being torn up for an unplanned remodel thanks to a leaky faucet, but I knew that wasn't the real issue either. As I sat up crying, having lost control of the one last thread I had, Rocky gently rubbed my back in the same way she rubbed my back when I was a little girl, awake because I was spending the night in a bed other than my own, having a sleepover with my favorite person. It all came flooding out. Too many emotions to name, tripping out of my mouth between sobs. My fears, my worry, and then finally, the real reason I was awake, my grief. It finally found a moment that I couldn't fight. The middle of the night. With my conscious thoughts at rest, the door was now open and it wasn't closing until I named it. It's name is grief and it is hard.<br />
It took me a half hour to cry it out, and another half hour to write it out. I'm sure this hour of sleep I have missed will catch up with me tomorrow, but that's okay. I have safety nets during daylight hours, and it won't be so scary then.<br />
Now, I can drift back to sleep having beaten my grief ninja attack with tears and prayers and my husband's gentle hand making circles on my back.Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-40864723828517423952019-01-05T22:01:00.000-05:002019-01-05T22:01:39.267-05:00A Tribute to Rixie the 2nd<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh11YJ-BvANpDpr4s5suCDdJ-sr2PUdZJAg48S0L3ygBOg0HxYGqsG09z2v1le64SC2HZmekH4fXoP1KwDJv5kGJHYXoC1mAw1zx95D0bWW1-X9vMyCSeYb96Ms9IYjutC-x8JnrA/s1600/mamaw2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh11YJ-BvANpDpr4s5suCDdJ-sr2PUdZJAg48S0L3ygBOg0HxYGqsG09z2v1le64SC2HZmekH4fXoP1KwDJv5kGJHYXoC1mAw1zx95D0bWW1-X9vMyCSeYb96Ms9IYjutC-x8JnrA/s320/mamaw2.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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When I was thinking over how best to pay tribute to Mamaw, I
was reminded of a chance encounter I had in my early twenties that really
opened my eyes to who she was.</div>
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A woman, who was the mother of a childhood friend of my
mother’s, came into the place I worked. After speaking to me, she asked who my
family was because I had a familiar look. I told her, and she said that she
thought of my grandmother every time she drove past her house because she
greatly admired how strong she was and how she had carried on her life after my
grandfather died. From that day forward, I knew “strength” as my grandmother’s
defining characteristic. <o:p></o:p></div>
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She was literally physically strong. For example, she did
her own yard work well past the age that most people stop. There was a section
of privet hedge that she frequently did battle with. She overcame a heart defect,
colon cancer, and fought her way back to being independent more times than is
believable. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Her strength of heart was unmatched. She faced more tragedy
and loss than most of us could bear. Even in the face of being widowed so
early, she picked up and carried on. I don’t think I ever saw her cry, not
because she didn’t, but because she didn’t cry in front of the children. She
always wanted to be strong for us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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She was a strong role model. She was not only the picture of
a 50’s housewife, but she was also a working mother. She held various jobs over
the years, and most probably remember her work in the Andrew Jackson school
cafeteria because her rolls were amazing, but the one that made an impression
on me was that when Papaw got his real estate license so he could sell houses
part time, she got her’s too so that she could support his work and run things
while he was at his other job. All of that with three kids to take care, and a
hot dinner on the table every night. Then when my parents started dating, she
added my dad in as her fourth kid, showing him what it was like to be a loving
parent. It changed the course of his life and by extension, my own. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Most importantly, she had strength of faith. Isaiah 40:31
says, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall
mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall
walk, and not faint.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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Her unwavering faith and trust in God touched us all in one
way or another. When many would have sat down, overwhelmed by the changes life
had thrown at them, she relied on God to help her stand knowing that He would
see her through whatever came next. It is the reason we can all have peace
today. We can trust that she rests with the Lord no longer having to be strong.
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I will remember how she took me to the movies and made me
bacon and French toast for breakfast. How she always sat at the kids table, and
how she could have a full Sunday dinner on the table in the time it took the
rest of us to change out of our church clothes. I still haven’t figured that
one out. Most of all I will remember her strength and try to live up to the
standard she set for being a Rixie. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-46819532131069052972018-08-07T12:30:00.004-05:002018-08-07T12:30:52.874-05:00Why We TrackA couple of years ago, when Nix was working on getting her driver's license, our family made the decision to use a family tracking app through our phones. It had absolutely nothing to do with trust or some need to know where my kid was 24/7. It was for safety and peace of mind. When you have a new driver, you spend a lot of time worried about the million things that can go wrong while they are in the rolling death trap surrounded by bad drivers. You can tell them to text you when they get where they are going, but then they hit traffic and you hear there was a five car pile up on their route and you have to wait to find out if they are okay but they forget to text. The next thing you know, you are having ridiculous thoughts of driving past their work like a crazy stalker to see if they made it okay. OR, you can download an app that lets you know they just forgot to text you.<br />The next benefit came after Nix went to college. Some of her friends were giving her a hard time about being tracked. We got labeled as helicopter parents. Nix was seriously considering turning her's off. And then it happened. She got lost in her new town. She got lost driving home on the weekend. She got lost a lot that first couple of months. In fact, every time she started thinking of ditching the app, she'd have to call me to look at the app to see where she was and how to navigate back when her phone map directions were failing her. It was the dreaded "proceed to the route" instructions when you have no idea how to get to the route. I admit that it is tempting to check in and see if she is staying out late or making it to class, but that urge eases up after a couple of weeks, and you start to only use it when you need it. <br />It turned out to be useful with Rocky. Most days he works from home, but he does go into the office from time to time. I like to time dinner so that he can eat with us on those days, but to do that, I need to know when he leaves. I set an alert to ping at me when he leaves the office so I know it is time to start cooking.<br />The most amusing benefit of family tracking came from my parents. My father sometimes goes to all day woodworking events. With equipment running, it can be hard to hear your phone. My mom's phone isn't compatible with the app we use, so she asked me to add my dad to our's. That's right, I track my dad so that my mother doesn't worry about him. I may check it occasionally when they are traveling here so I know how much time I have left to clean the guest bathroom. My dad likes to check it so he can call and ask me if I bought anything when I was at Ikea and laugh.<br />When we first started this, JD didn't really go anywhere without us, but we decided to go ahead and put him on it too so it wouldn't be a big deal to add him later, and also so if he left his phone somewhere we could narrow down where to look. He used it to see where I was in carline so he would know when to move to the front of the line and when he had time to talk with friends. I was recently reading about a kid about his age that went missing. Although there is no guarantee that his phone would remain on him if he went missing, it does give me a little extra peace knowing that we would at least have a place to start. I also read about a kid, also his age, that almost died of alcohol poisoning. Although having the app would not have prevented this kid from being stupid, when someone picked up her phone to call her parents, they could have known where she was and had the ambulance meet them there instead of having to beg someone to drive her home first. <br /><br />There are several apps like this. If you want to consider one, I recommend doing a little research to find one that fits your needs. We use Life360 because we all have different types of phones and it was available for all of us. There is an option to pay extra for reports on the comings and goings of your family (this includes a list of how fast they were driving), but that seemed like overkill to me. If you do decide to try it out, please be honest and don't try to sneak it on your kid's phone. If you try to be sneaky, they will be sneaky too. It isn't hard to disable it or cheat the tracking, so you should really discuss it as a family and get everyone on board for the right reasons.<br />For the record, if Nix decides she doesn't want to be on the tracker anymore I would absolutely remove her.Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-10543792733619048762018-07-01T01:58:00.000-05:002018-07-01T01:58:33.202-05:00I am weak, but He is strong I was reading in 2 Corinthians the other day. in chapter 12, and I suddenly felt a new kinship with Paul. He had been begging God to take away a "thorn in his side". There was some sort of problem that Paul had that seriously limited him. It seems so odd to think of someone we now know of as an enviable man of God feeling held back because of a limitation. The man's writings have continued to hold an important place in Christianity for 2,000 years. People use his words everyday to explain the very basics of salvation. How could this man have ever considered himself limited in what he could do for Christ? Then, I was reminded of my week. The time I spent not feeling well. Mostly, the time I spent frustrated that I wasn't doing what I felt like needed to be done. During that time I used my computer and my skills/talents to work on photographs for friends, graphic work for church, written words of encouragement to others, and a list of other things that I was considering nothing all because I wasn't getting done what I wanted to get done. I am sitting here realizing now that I actually accomplished a lot. I made a difference to several people. I contributed because God has granted me a skill that works around my shortcomings. Maybe it is okay to not be okay. Not being okay gives me opportunities to do things I wouldn't if I wasn't having to rest.<br />
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"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."<br />
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Paul had asked for his problem to be removed three time. I think I have got him beat on that front (by a lot). But like Paul, I don't think my issues are going anywhere. If it served God's purpose for me to be healed, I would be. There is not a single doubt in my mind that I could wake tomorrow and never have another stomach issue again. The thing is though, my weakness IS serving a purpose. The strength of God is made clear every time I carry on. I will be up tomorrow, at church, doing what needs to be done even though I am awake at 2 in the morning writing to distract myself from the sharp pain that woke me. It will be God's strength carrying me through, God's gifts to me that will allow me to do things even from bed when I get home and inevitably collapse onto my bed to give in to my physical weakness.<br />
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I try not to go on about my digestive disorder too much, part because no one would really want details of what goes on with that (ew, trust me), but also because I don't want people to think it is a daily horror show. I forget how much I have adjusted to all the things that go on until I am around people who don't have to consider every bite they take or make a sort of escape plan for every outing they try to go on. The truth is, the life I have gotten fairly use to is limited. It is actually significantly limited. I just don't like to think of it that way. I'm not dying. I'm not having to go through awful medical treatments. I have adjusted to the diet and discomfort for the most part. This is just my life. Why depress people with how much my daily life differs from theirs? But today, with this post, I am bringing it up because I want you all to know that every time you see me working, getting things done, having fun, being around people, eating food, or writing, it is because God's grace sees me through. His strength is what holds me up. I know because the second He doesn't need me strong, I am a puddle of weak. I am honored He has taken the time to find a use for me around the frailty this world laid on me. <br />
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Case in point, it is now 3 am, my pain is easing and I have a new blog post to show for it. What did you do between 2 and 3 in the morning?Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-2244963672727230532018-06-27T12:56:00.003-05:002018-06-27T12:56:57.683-05:00My hope is built on nothing lessI know I kind of left you hanging on that last church post, and I have wanted to update, but so much of starting a church is waiting that there hasn't really been enough to post about until now.<br />
We did vote to start, we have been admitted into a local association, and we finally picked a name.<br />
We are Hope Fellowship, a Southern Baptist Church.<br />
To pick the name we opened it up for suggestions, and like everything else so far, a common thread appeared. Well over half of the suggestions contained the word "fellowship", and the next most mentioned word was "hope". It wasn't a small number. Since church people are notorious for not being able to harmoniously pick a carpet color, it is kind of a small miracle that we managed to pick a name so easily. To go with our new name, we picked this verse from Psalms<br />
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Next, we have a mission statement. Typically speaking, church mission statements can get kind of wordy and a bit hard to follow. Instead, we wanted something that boiled it down to what it is that the church needs to be about. This is what we got.<br />
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That's it. The whole thing. Love God, others, and the lost. All the work that the church needs to do falls under one. or more, of those things.<br />
Our newest fun little line up has been location. It isn't easy to find a place that can function as a church especially when you have barely a months worth of history to your name. After a bunch calls and several scouting trips, we found a local school that could rent to us. It wasn't the first place on our list. In fact, I think it was at the bottom of the list we started with. That's where God comes in again. This school is in a corner of the county that has a ton of neighborhoods but no churches. They have struggled to get sponsors for the school because it isn't near businesses. Compared to the other schools in the area, their extras budget is very low. They need us, just like we need them. The principal is a former preacher's kid herself, and beyond thrilled to be having a church lease space. Once again, everything fell into place better than we planned.<br />
It hasn't all been sunshine and roses. Starting a church is hard. We've had friends who needed to step away. We've hit roadblocks. Patience and flexibility tested. But, at the end of each day, hope and unity have continued to win out.Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-52601152684678068222018-05-23T10:29:00.000-05:002018-05-23T10:37:46.639-05:00House Rules and Vacation PicturesLast week, JD had his big 8th grade field trip. When I was a kid this meant something like we were loaded on a bus to drive to see a community theater play and were home by the time school was out. What this means here is that kids go to Savannah for three days on charter buses. Since Nix had also been on this trip it meant that Rocky and I were the only ones in the house who hadn't ever been to Savannah. We decided that this was not right, and made arrangements to pick up JD in Savannah instead of him riding the middle school bus home.<br />
Nix had just freshly finished her first year of college, and was still in that mode of meeting with friends, job hunting, and general unwinding, so she opted to stay home alone with the cat. Since this was the first time she had been left at the house overnight, I felt it was important to leave her with a few house rules. She mostly followed them all.<br />
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While in Savannah, I got a chance to play with my camera a bit.<br />
I took typical touristy pictures.<br />
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And, I took pictures of random things that just pleased me.<br />
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Savannah is a beautiful town full of history and character that you don't find in many places in the South. I think I could spend a week just walking around, sitting in parks, and soaking in the beauty of it all.<br />
Although the trip itself was an overall wonderful experience, it just wouldn't be "us" if things didn't go wrong. JD came home with a sinus infection and a weird rash from some sort of mystery botanical irritant, and we all have sunburns because the weatherman was wrong, which gave us unexpected time to enjoy the beach. Thankfully, our hotel was close to Walmart because, in spite of being on vacation, I still managed to need something from there every single day. There is just no escaping it.Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-29515770279415034472018-04-29T19:29:00.000-05:002018-04-29T19:38:22.125-05:00Another week, another signI hadn't planned on posting again this week, but life has been full of things I didn't plan lately, so I am just going to run with it while the mood is striking.<br />
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Last week I talked about a rather amusing literal sign on the wall pointing to my post from the week before that. This week I had a different type of sign. </div>
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The group of us meeting to consider starting a new church were all asked to write down a couple of reasons why we did or did not want to start a church. Then, we were going to discuss those tonight, and get a better idea of what we were talking about. Our family sat down and came up with a good list, and then I condensed it into one statement to share with the group. I went in tonight assuming that either I would read that statement or Rocky would, but something kind of amazing happened that changed that.</div>
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Our main speaker stood up with opening remarks (if we were a church this would be our pastor, and by remarks I really mean sermon). I marked a couple of things off our list because he covered those points. As people came forward to share what God had laid on their hearts this week, one right after another checked off the rest of our list. In a room of a hundred people, not once was a point raised that made someone stand up and disagree. I don't know how many church meetings you have been to, but in my experience this is a rare event. </div>
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Although no official declarations will be made until after we meet next week, I feel less like this will be a group starting a new church, and much more like us joining a church that God started long before we were aware of it. </div>
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The only thing on my list not shared was a word that has been turning over in my head all week. Sanctuary. It is a word that has gone out of vogue and shelved for the crime of being too churchy. I think for a long time it was used as a name for a room where the choir sung, the preacher talked, and people tired to sleep upright in pews without getting caught. What sanctuary actually means is a sacred place of refuge in a consecrated building set apart for holy worship. Could there be any better word to describe what I am looking for? </div>
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Another definition is a holy place of asylum, which tickles me because the pastor said that the one thing we needed most to succeed (other than God, of course) was to be committed. Committed to an asylum sounds about right for my family. </div>
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The one thing Rocky did add to the open discussion was our family's list of personal costs. These are things that we have to expect will be required of us, and things we need to decide as a family if we are ready for. After talking them out we realized that it is a simple list of basic requirements that are at the same time a tremendous responsibility that we can't commit to only halfway. It is a good list to check yourself with regardless of where you worship.<br />
<ul>
<li>We have to tithe without fail</li>
<li>We will have to prioritize attendance</li>
<li>Serving will not be optional</li>
<li>Our prayer lives and Bible study will need to be solid</li>
<li>We will have to be okay with trial and error</li>
<li>We need to be ready to open our home. </li>
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The list seemed almost too easy until I started thinking about the number of times we have slack on one or completely failed at another. Now it seems daunting. Daunting, but totally worth it because it challenges us to be where we should have already been anyway. </div>
Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-31548496178775521562018-04-22T19:42:00.001-05:002018-04-22T19:42:25.689-05:00Be careful what you wish forThis post will not make a whole lot of sense if you didn't read my last one. To sum up, I talked about rocks and church and a craving I have for simplicity and honesty. This week I found myself sitting in a room with a group of people where the topic was how many of us were feeling that same pull. I want to be completely clear that this meeting was not my idea in any way. I did not suggest it, organize it, or set the tone at all. I was merely one of the people who showed up. It turns out that just as Rocky and I were getting uncomfortable where we were, several others were also feeling called into some sort of action. Those of the group that are of the organizing sort, got us all in the same room.<br />
I am not typically one for looking for signs, but I couldn't help but laugh when I looked around this room and saw this.<br />
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That is literally a sign talking about the types of rocks. And, what is at the top? Obsidian! It has been less than a week since I said that I wanted to take the fire I had burning and form some obsidian. What are the odds? I seriously do not get superstitious. I am not at all implying that God hung that poster in that room to speak directly to me as a way to say I was on the right path. I am pretty sure that a teacher hung it because it ties in with the class lessons and is a good teaching tool. What I am saying is that it made me smile. It reminded me of why I was there. Seeing it calmed me, and I am thankful for little things that surprise you like that. <br />
As a result of the meeting, I have made a commitment to pray about the road ahead. A commitment to spend the next two weeks really searching for God's direction for our family, and what we are called to do. To be specific, are we led to create a new church? Scary words. If God is not in it but we try anyway, then we are doomed to fail before we begin. If God is in it and we decline, then we will not be satisfied anywhere else. I can not say for certain what will happen, but when I step back and look at all the parts that were moved into place in just this one week, I am excited to see what God is going to do with two.<br />
<br />Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-1563206919908919972018-04-15T21:45:00.001-05:002018-04-16T05:09:37.022-05:00What kind of rock? This week our pastor preached a sermon about what an ideal New Testament described church would look like. He wasn't wrong at any point, but I don't think I got the message he meant to give. My brain took a left turn. The scripture he started with was from Matthew 16:18, which says in part, "upon this rock I will build my church". For those of you who knew me as a kid, you might remember that I was a bit of a rock nerd. I still enjoy a good gem and mineral show. Rock identification was my "sport". So, when the statement of "upon this rock" comes up, my brain defaults to "What kind of rock is it?" What kind of rock is your church built on? Is it a sedimentary rock made up of layers of a bunch of things that settled together? Weak, with lines of division? Is it a metamorphic rock that has changed under the pressures and influence of the world? Or, is it more like the igneous rock, forged in the fire of a volcano to bring about something hard and new from ashes?<br />
This is not even close to what the sermon was on, but because my brain took this turn, I began to think through how we "do" church. What the modern church looks like verses what the Bible calls the church to be. I thought through some of the churches of the Bible that were doing things the wrong way as well as the ones that were doing it right, which lead me to some hard thinking that I am still pondering over. I think my goal in writing this out is to see if anyone else has wrestled with this, and where you came out, or to give comfort to anyone who struggles now to know you aren't alone.<br />
So, here goes.<br />
What if we are doing church wrong?<br />
What if instead of bringing people in so the pastor can tell them about Jesus, we equipped our church members to go out and witness to people themselves?<br />
What if instead of telling people they should serve, we expected everyone to serve? If you have been in church long at all you have probably heard the 80/20 rule. There are 20% of the people doing 80% of the work. Why? Shouldn't membership come with an expectation of contribution? And that is both financial and service. Every other club requires dues and service hours. Why are we okay giving that to the Beta Club but not to God?<br />
What if instead of handing people a standardized aptitude test with spiritual buzzwords to "find your spiritual gift" Buzzfeed style, we actually encouraged and instructed people on recognizing where God has blessed them with talent?<br />
What if instead of worship wars (that is where you fight over music), everyone picked their top ten favorite songs that inspire them to a meaningful worship of God? Then, even when you were forced to sing a song that annoyed you, you would know that one of your church family was getting to enjoy one of their favorite songs making it harder to be upset if you truly love your family.<br />
What if instead of trying to make a production out of church we just came in, sat down, and studied God's word in a way that compelled us to mature?<br />
What if we stopped treating children like they wouldn't understand what the grownups are talking about, and invited them into the service to worship and learn beside their family? After all, what's harder to understand, the book of Psalms or Shakespeare? We make kids read the bard in school, but don't require them to read the poetry of David because it might not seem relevant to them? You underestimate your child and the thirst for the knowledge that is found in real Bible study.<br />
What if we stopped trying to be relevant and were just boldly honest? Honest about the good, honest about the bad, and unflinchingly honest about what God wants us to be.<br />
What if instead of being hypocrites we told the truth? Instead of fake smiles and pretty words when life gets hard we told our church family that marriage is hard or money is tight or that I struggle with a specific sin every single day of my life.<br />
What if instead of events and parties and socials we had prayer meetings and outreach and mentoring where no one brought food? That's right, I said without food!<br />
I have attended some great churches, but if I am being honest, I have never been to that church.<br />
I am in no way saying there is anything wrong with food or fun or even buzzword heavy programs (well, maybe that last one is a little wrong), but what I am saying is that all of that needs to take a back seat to cultivating maturity, discernment, and service among the people who commit to being part of the body of Christ.<br />
What am I going to do with this fire that was lit in me? I hope I can help turn a little ash into obsidian. Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-29293951586033815472018-02-14T08:00:00.000-05:002018-02-14T08:01:12.440-05:00New Craft!Normally I post about the horrors that have fallen on my family for Valentine's Day, but I thought I'd go a different direction this year. I was in Hobby Lobby yesterday picking up a specific doohickey for a specific project, but somehow found myself in the jewelry making section where I discovered a sudden need to make Nix a Valentine's Day present.<br />
I wanted to make tags for a necklace, and I wanted the tags to have a couple of key words from Bible verses. The thought was that when Nix gets fidgety and starts to play with the necklace, the words will trigger the memory of the whole verse, which will then calm her spirit and ease the stress.<br />
First up is "Be Still" Psalm 46:10<br />
"Be still, and know that I am GOD"<br />
I paired it with a compass because I know that one of my biggest struggles in seeking God's direction is just being still and waiting for God to set the path.<br />
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Next up is "By Grace" Ephesians 2:8<br />
"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of GOD"<br />
This one is just a good standard reminder. We have been given a gift of salvation. We can't be good enough to deserve it, or bad enough to lose it once we accept it. It has a cross charm with it to be reminded of what giving that gift cost God. <br />
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Last is "But God" 2 Chronicles 20:15<br />
"Do not be afraid or dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's."<br />
I bet you were expecting something different there. The phrase "but God" is actually used closed to 50 times in the Bible. Over and over we see men making bad plans, but God stepping in to fix it. We see people intending harm, but God showing up for protection. We see the world falling, but God sending His Son. The phrase "but God" shows love, mercy, protection, grace, guidance, strength, life, and resurrection! It is paired with an anchor because life will toss us about, but God is our anchor.<br />
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I recently heard someone say that obtaining craft supplies and using them are two different skills. This is definitely the case here. A few years ago I bought a cheap set of metal letter presses from <a href="https://www.harborfreight.com/36-piece-18-in-steel-letternumber-stamping-set-63676.html" target="_blank">Harbor Freight</a> with the idea of trying this at some point, but just never did. Seeing a set of tag blanks on clearance reminded me of them, and set me on a mission to get it done. I am very pleased with the results. If you want to do it "the right way", craft stores have a small section of proper tools and kits to make it all come out perfect and even, Since I am not perfect or even, I think I will stick to my cheap tools for now.<br />
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For those of you who are dying to know, yes a family member did have to visit the hospital today, but for a pretty basic test and nothing too scary, I did have a stomach issue hit me during the middle of the concert I took Rocky to, but I survived without having to leave early, and the flu has been in our house, but seems to be clear now. The day isn't over, so I am not prepared to let my guard down just yet.Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-21509451271458324182018-01-12T11:53:00.000-05:002018-01-12T11:53:09.945-05:00Chasing Peace<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hear my cry, O God;</div>
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Attend to my prayer.</div>
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From the end of the earth I will cry to You,</div>
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When my heart is overwhelmed;</div>
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Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.</div>
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For You have been a shelter for me,</div>
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A strong tower from the enemy.</div>
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I will abide in Your tabernacle forever;</div>
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I will trust in the shelter of Your wings.</div>
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Psalm 61: 1-4</div>
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If you have followed along in what I have now affectionately termed "Adventures of a Wholesome College Girl", you know that Nix has had an impressively weird college life. Who gets flooded out of their dorm because a guy down the hall sets fire to his bed with a vape pen? My daughter, that's who. That hasn't even been the half of it. Really, if she were less wholesome I could turn it into a script and sell it to the CW.<br />This being the first week of classes for the new semester, she was determined to start it off in a much better place. Then life happened. It wasn't anything horrible or even all that dramatic, but it was enough to give her trouble sleeping and the fear that her life was doomed to be one complicated mess after another. </div>
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Last night, I was talking with her, and it dawned on me that what has really happened is that her peace has been taken from her. Peace is one of those wonderful things that is promised to come from living a godly life. Not easy, not simple, not free from pain, but peace in the midst of the bad. We needed to stop looking at it problem by problem, and start looking for time to be at peace. That is when I said one of those things that I can't take credit for. It just came out of my mouth when I needed it to. "Honey, peace isn't going to just happen. You are going to have to chase after it, and grab it. It is there, but you won't finding it mired in the what if's and second guessing." </div>
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To be honest, I almost had to sit down and cry because I realized that I have not been chasing peace either. Here we are letting the mac truck of trouble run us over time and again without bothering to stand up and get out of the road. </div>
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This morning I sat down with the intention of finding a word about peace. Very quickly I was taken to this beautiful psalm. I sent it to Nix right away, and then set to work turning it into a picture to meditate on. </div>
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One of the words that stands out to me is "abide". I wish we still used it. It is so much stronger of a word than something like stay or live. It is a word that reminds me that I can be filled with the Spirit of God at all times, and part of that means being filled with peace. It is a cool deep breath that soothes my soul. I know I am going to have to make a daily effort to chase down peace, but I look forward to the change in me that will bring.<br /><br />Isn't it funny how ministering to someone else's needs can lead you to the place you didn't realize you needed so badly? God can be really interesting in His methods sometimes. </div>
Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-24952687559554080852018-01-01T21:45:00.000-05:002018-01-01T21:54:18.187-05:00The Legend of the Christmas Corn DogThis was a bit of an unusual Christmas for our family, to say the least. My grandmother, Rixie the 2nd, has been in bad health requiring a few trips to the hospital since October. Thankfully, she is on the mend now, but Christmas was done in shifts this year. Between the hospital visits, my mother, Rixie the 3rd, had a reoccurring sinus infection. It is safe to say that Christmas decorating was the very last thing on the minds of my parents.<br />
When we got into town we had two main missions. For me to restore a touch of normal to the house through cooking and doing laundry, and to get the house decorated for Christmas. I took advantage of my cousins' well timed visit, and got them to help us with the tree. When it came time to add the tree topper, there was an odd addition to the star's box. It looked like a wooden corn dog. We looked at it, scratched our heads for a minute, but went on with the job.<br />
The star had a springy sort of bottom that did not want to balance on top of the tree. As soon as I got it somewhat secured, it would start to lean. It was getting really frustrating, and then a long buried memory came flooding to the front of my brain.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Bring me the Christmas Corn Dog!</span></div>
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Years ago my father had noticed a hole in the top of the tree just the right size to slide a dowel into. He turned a piece of wood to match the size and length of the spring on the star.<br />
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It slide right in, and blended in perfectly. I put the star on, where it stood perfectly level and steady all through Christmas.<br />
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Leave it to our family to come up with something both confusing and ingenious all at the same time.Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-56297625768451486192017-10-30T10:27:00.001-05:002017-10-30T10:41:45.960-05:00Non-toxicThere has been a ton of talk lately about sexual harassment, and part of me hates to add to the ever growing list, but I have something positive to bring to the table.<br />
As is my family tradition, I must start with "Everything is okay, but..." Nix recently experienced a difficult situation with a young man being inappropriate in how he engaged with her. Can you tell I'm trying to make this not sound scary? On paper it sounds pretty bad. We had to file reports and talk with officials to get it to stop, but it has stopped. We never had serious, imminent fear for her safety. We more had concern that this guy desperately needs mental health intervention, and reporting was really the only way to encourage that. Plus, I watch a lot of Criminal Minds and if this kid turned out to snap, I didn't want it to be around my kid.<br />
It has been a true learning experience for all of us. A big part of it was trying to figure out at what point does sharing God's love for someone stop looking like compassion and start being you taking serious steps away. I actually had to stop one of the interviews Nix did to explain this concept to the interviewer. That she let this go on because, as a Christian, when we see someone in pain, we want to help, even at our own disadvantage. In the end, the God given instinct of fear overwhelmed any good she was capable of. I am beyond thankful to say that the interviewer accepted this reasoning and completely changed her approach going forward.<br />
So, now that I have explain what happened in completely vague terms (sorry, I hate vague), I'll get to my point.<br />
While all this was going on, the gentlemen at the Baptist Collegiate Ministry (BCM) went above and beyond to keep my girl safe. They took turns walking her to her car, taking her to the bus, giving her rides, running interference, taking the guy aside and engaging him in prayer and Bible study apart from her, and even standing guard over a door while she sat in a back room trying to submit evidence to the campus police (I know that last one sounds scary, but it really is a "better safe than sorry" type thing). Every single one of these things was done with no intention other than keeping her safe. Not one of the guys who stepped up ever took advantage of the situation. Not even a little. She always felt safe with them. She was never worried about one of them hitting on her, or getting the wrong idea as they walked her to her door. These are the men we hope we raise our sons to be.<br />
With all of the day's talk of toxic masculinity, I am proud to tell you how I have witnessed non-toxic masculinity at work. My daughter might not "need" a man to keep her safe, after all she does carry a high powered taser, but even still, it is nice to know that there are guys out there that still embrace that protective instinct in a very positive way. It adds an extra level of security, and peace of mind for me.<br />
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If you have questions about our process for reporting the issue, what the experience was like, who we had to talk to, or what the results were, please feel free to message or email me. If this experience can in any way help someone else take steps to ensure their safety, I am glad to share.Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-58230876383809319202017-09-26T08:53:00.002-05:002017-09-26T09:21:24.293-05:005 Steps to a Better Facebook FeedI have noticed another round of people becoming aware of the need for privacy settings on Facebook. I have had numerous friends ask me how I filter my feed. I not only control who sees what, but I also control what I see from other people. It is surprising how much more peaceful and useful Facebook becomes when you filter things properly. I finally had time to sit down and make a tutorial with pictures. It is super easy.<br />
Step 1<br />
Locate your master friends list<br />
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Step 2<br />
Create lists to group people into. Facebook has a couple of defaults you can use such as close friends, local friends, and acquaintances. I have added to that a good bit to include a group for church people, geeky people, only women, and a few other categories that have been useful.<br />
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Step 3<br />
Now click the spot where is says "See all friends" and use the drop down box to put each friend into the boxes you want them in. This doesn't take as long as it might sound. I probably did all of mine in less than a half hour.<br />
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Step 4</div>
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When you post, there is a box asking you which group of friends you want to post to. This probably takes the most getting use to. Normally, mine stays on "close friends" and only about 25 people see it. When I do switch to a different group, I have to remember to change it back for the next post. Another thing that is handy about this is there is a tiny icon that goes with the categories. Public is a globe, close friends is a star, local is a map point, and various other things. When you start to notice those, you can tell what settings other friends have used for their posts. I avoid posting on public posts, which is funny, because when I post about this I will probably make it public. </div>
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Step 5<br />
This is how you filter what you see from others. There are 3 little dots in the corer of every post. Click there for a drop down box. There is an option there to unfollow without unfriending. This means you don't see what they post, but you haven't unfriended them either. This comes in handy for those relatives that are still posting 3 year old memes, "only 10% of people will repost...", and outrage over satirical articles. There is also an option to just see less of the specific type of post. So, if you have a person posting game updates all the time, you can hide the game entirely. I haven't seen a Facebook game notice in at least a year. It is lovely.<br />
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There it is, 5 simple steps to a happier facebook feed. I know it takes a little time, but it is well worth it.</div>
One little bonus tip, you can actually select to only see the feeds from a specific group of friends. All you do is go back to the friend list page from step 2 and click on the list you want to see. It will automatically filter your feed.Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-41144298844728412332017-09-10T13:35:00.000-05:002017-10-30T10:30:47.932-05:00Big, BIG newsThe past 12 hours has brought some rather unexpected news to our home.<br />
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Last night, Nix confessed to something she had been keeping a secret. Over the summer, we attended special Monday night church services with several different guest speakers. During one of these nights, Nix became convicted that she had not fully given her life to God. That night, she had asked God for help. She accepted Christ into her heart, and has felt a beautiful change come over her. As a person who remembers her first profession of faith and baptism, I didn't want to question her faith, but I knew that the fruits had just not been there. She tried, but the good seemed a passing phase while there was anger taking root. I feared for her as she was about to enter college, and then all of that changed. Not just her actions and attitude, but also my worry seemed to fade. Now I know why. She told us last night because she knew she needed to make it public and be baptized. She had backed out of saying something a few times. She was worried how we would take it. Would we accuse her of lying about her faith up until now? Would we understand? How could she explain? All of that doubt and worry were put to rest very quickly, and we helped her make a plan to walk forward today and publicly profess her desire to follow Christ. </div>
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During our time talking, JD was uncharacteristically quiet. I looked at him, smiled, and basically said, "It's okay. You can say it. I already know." It all came spilling out. He didn't remember accepting Christ. He had no memory of his baptism. Because he has always been in church, he knew what to say, how to act, and what it should look like, but it wasn't touching his heart. He had doubts. Big giant doubts. Since Nix had just poured out her testimony to us, I shared my own, and then Rocky shared his. JD sat in silence knowing that he had nothing to share. We made it clear to him that this was between him and God, not us. He could not just say the magic salvation words, mainly because there is no such thing, but also because this needed to be serious business between him and God, and done for no other reason than wanting a true and complete relationship with Christ. He wasn't ready to make any decisions. You can probably guess how well I slept last night. The day before I thought I had two kids on a righteous path, seeking God, and all headed towards Heaven. To have that now called into question left me restless in the worst way. As I laid there trying to sleep at 12:30, I felt a sudden pull to go pray at the foot of JD's bed. I obeyed, but walked away confused not knowing why. This morning, I found out why. When I went up, JD had only been asleep maybe 10 minutes. He had been up praying to God to guide him into salvation. JD asked God to forgive his sinful life, asked for the Holy Spirit to come into his heart, and fully committed to following Christ. </div>
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This morning, my kids walked up together before a congregation that they only knew a few of, to a pastor they had never met, and told him that they had both accepted Christ and wanted to make it public this morning.<br />
I don't think proud is the right word for how I am feeling. Overjoyed, relieved, or happy doesn't cover it either. I think I am just very full of all the good emotions available. More than anything I am thankful. Thankful that God caught what I missed. Thankful that He moved my kids, and cared for them more than I ever could. Thankful for the salvation of my entire home. </div>
Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-17314112290123101162017-08-22T12:52:00.000-05:002017-08-22T12:52:17.044-05:00You Found UsWith my daughter off at college, I have taken up a new hobby. Cyber stalking all the new people she meets. Kidding! Sort of. I like putting a face to a name, and my kid isn't one of those girls who takes pictures of new friends or daily activities or food. (not complaining on this point) I only look up public social media information. Interesting side note, kids today are pretty good about locking down the security on their accounts, their parents, not so much. I always learn more about people from their mother's facebook page than I do from their own activity. At the moment, my son is still pretty hard to track down info on. His name is generic enough to confuse google searches, and he has none of the expected social media accounts. My daughter, well, she has my distinctive first name which means, if someone searches her, they will end up finding me and this blog. I did a quick search to see if there was anything horribly embarrassing. I didn't find anything too bad, and I feel it is my responsibility to correct that oversight. So, without further ado, I present:<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> "A letter to the person google searching my kid"</span></div>
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Congratulation! You have hit the mother load of information here. If you want to, you can now scroll through several years in the life of our quirky little family, and musings of the mother of the kid you are looking into. OR, I could save you a little time and sum things up for you.<br />
- God is at the center of our family. It is why we are still happily married, why we are never free on Sundays or out too late on Saturdays, and the first reason why we don't really fit into the "normal" box. We strive to be faithful and committed followers of Christ. We do have friends outside of those we go to church with. We aren't isolated amish type people. We are just serious about our faith.<br />
- We were geeky before being a geek was socially acceptable. I have worn a costume for occasions other than Halloween. I have been to conventions (yes plural). I have stood in line for tickets to a premier showing of a movie that started with the word "Star" more than once. Most of the art work in our house has something nerdy about it. We try to dial it back when we meet new people, but sooner or later you will see us in a t-shirt you don't understand and we will make a Harry Potter joke that we don't realize not everyone was also thinking.<br />
- We aren't very social. We have friends. We get out. We do things. We just aren't the type to throw parties. I have never been clubbing. We haven't ever vacationed with people who aren't family. I can't even think of anything else social people might do, which should paint a pretty good picture of how little we get out. <br />
- Our family is very close. We do our best to share at least one meal a day with each other during which we share about our lives and laugh a lot. Our conversations are rarely boring because we are the type of people who will say that weird thought out loud. Just yesterday JD asked, "What would be the worse song to play at a funeral?" This was followed by each of us suddenly interrupting other topics to name another song. My husband won with "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead".<br />
If anything you have read here, or elsewhere on the blog, concerns you, you might want to run now. If your kid has become attached to one of my kids, relax, we are good people. We are quirky, but mostly the harmless fun kind of quirky. I hope we get to meet face to face one day, but if we do, I promise to overlook you knowing things you shouldn't, like our cat's name, if you overlook my knowing where your last vacation was. Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20984617.post-91756765640815665112017-08-17T12:31:00.001-05:002017-08-17T12:31:30.739-05:00Define "Substantial'More often than not, I strive to write with a bit of humor and a lighthearted take on whatever is going on. This is not going to be one of those posts. This goes more under the heading of an uncomfortable look at reality.<br />
Recently, I have noticed a lot of articles being shared on social media about Iceland's excitement over "ending" Down Syndrome. Since it is a chromosomal abnormality, their method of "curing" this is actually just killing everyone they suspect might have it before they are born. Their only regret seems to be that they occasionally get false negatives and one of these kids slips through and is born. Personally, this all seems monstrous to me. I can not even being to fathom how an entire country could be so blind to genocide. Even still, there are people who will look past it or make excuses.<br />
My question is, after eradicating this, which abnormality will they target next? Make no mistake, there will be a next, and something after that one, and on and on in an effort to only let "perfect" babies have a chance at life. How far will they go? <br />
In an effort to answer this question, I did a little research. <a href="https://www.rcog.org.uk/globalassets/documents/guidelines/terminationpregnancyreport18may2010.pdf" target="_blank">The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists</a> published a handy guide in 2010 on what constitutes a fetal abnormality that warrants termination when a mother is past 24 weeks of pregnancy. This covers England, Scotland, and Wales. This is how they define it.<br />
<i> "There is no legal definition of substantial risk. Whether a risk will be regarded as substantial may vary with the seriousness and consequences of the likely disability. Likewise, there is no legal definition of serious handicap. An assessment of the seriousness of a fetal abnormality should be considered on a case-by-case basis, taking into account all available clinical information."</i><br />
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In short, they don't. It is up to the doctor. To be more specific, if you can get two doctors to sign a paper saying they think there is at least a 50% chance that your child will have something they deem serious, you can abort the baby after 24 weeks.<br />
They go to great pains to make is appear as if it is only used in cases where a child would most likely die shortly after being born or if the mother would die, but that is not how it is written. Consequently, there is a rather well known case in which the Church of England attempted to have a doctor charged with aborting a child after 24 weeks. The baby was diagnosed in the womb as having a cleft palette. An investigation was opened, and it was determined that since two doctors said it was okay, they did not have grounds to charge the doctor who performed the abortion.<br />
In case you are new to knowing me, you should know that I was born with a cleft palette. As you can imagine, I take this case rather personally. When I was born, the doctor told my parents that if you were given a list of birth defects and told you had to pick one for your child to have, a cleft palette would be the one to pick. It is the easiest to fix. No one knows I had one unless I tell them. It took a total of 2 surgeries to correct. Sure, it wasn't a walk in the park, but it was easier to deal with than something like a peanut allergy. The point is, if they could legally justify aborting a child for a cleft, then they can justify literally anything that they might consider an imperfection.<br />Killing everyone suspected of having Down Syndrome is a test case. If they can get away with it then they will move to another defect. As prenatal testing gets better, so will the number of things they attempt to end.<br />
It won't be long before they make the case for killing the babies born alive who were missed in the screening. It isn't even that big of a leap. Once you start down the road of deciding who deserves a chance at life, you open the door to debate. It is a debate we will lose. Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15783350956055309691noreply@blogger.com0