Advice sort of not taken

I signed up to let Jon Acuff bug me every day for a month about my dream. I’d like to say that I took every word to heart, followed his plan to the letter, and attain my goal, but that’s not how I work. I read every email, nodded in agreement, and then thought of at least 10 things I could do other than work on my goal. My mother says I have a special talent for “creative avoidance”.

My goal was not grand. I simply wanted to write more. If I could turn out one blog post a week, it would be a start. Instead, I took up new craft projects. I tried new recipes. I caught up on health checkups. I did not attack my goal. Then a funny thing happened. I checked my blog and I had accidentally written 5 posts before the end of the month instead of 4. (if you count this one, 6)

I was so confused by this that I had to sit down and figure out how it had happened. I determined that either Jon has magical powers that are sent via email, or the key problem in my not writing was not living my life in a way that gave me something to write about. 

It turns out that I needed to get out of my own head, stop focusing on what I wasn't doing, and try new things.  I don’t think I would have gotten there on my own. It took having something to creatively avoid. I should never underestimate my ability to do things backwards. 

Look it!

It seems I have been in the mood to breakdown my own crafting barriers this month. After my modesty success and lessons learned from painting canvas paper, I moved to the real thing.
I had already decided that I wanted some sort of quote for Nix' room. I polled friends, made a list, and Nix picked a lovely quote from Dr. Seuss that fits her well.
Step 1: The Design. This was the easy part for me. It was computer work and therefore easily changed.

Step 2. The Layout. I turned my original work into segments 8x10 pieces that would allow me to transfer the design to the canvas

Step 3 Transfer. After the gray base coat, I transferred the design to the canvas using graphite paper. This gave me an outline to follow, so it became more like paint by number.

Step 4 Paint. This was the part I was nervous about. It was a lot of words to fill in. Next time I must remember a smaller quote and a larger, less swirly font. It is hard to see here, but I went back after I was done with my original plan and add in silver swirls to the purple ones and purple highlighting to the letters.

Step 5 Hanging the finished project. I never expected it to look this good.

I am certain that people who have a knowledge of how these things should be done would pat my head and bless my heart upon close inspection, but Nix loves it and I am satisfied with it.
Next up is one for JD, which will hopefully glow in the dark.

Killing Cupid

It's that time of year again. Time to see how I will be tortured by Valentine's Day this year. In all fairness, it isn't just me this year. I captured this lovely headline.

It snowed everywhere. Here in Georgia we got 5 whole inches of a snow and ice mix and confined the entire city of Atlanta and the surrounding areas for most of the week. Typically, I enjoy snow days. I love having random days off with the kids. This is the second run of snow days for us. The school calendar already had this being a 4 day weekend, which means the kids went to school Monday and don't go back until Tuesday. We have all gone a bit stir crazy, but it is really cold out there and filled with other people who are stir crazy, so I also don't want to leave.

In addition to the weather, I have had personal horrors this week. Thanks to a couple of oral surgeries, more teeth pulled than I care to dwell on, and the combination of a small mouth and dentists with large hands, I have one of the most common phobias, The Dentist. I have a mini panic attack just talking about the idea of going. It is really far outside of my normal to react to anything like that, which I think makes it even worse. This week my "permanent" retainer detached from one side and stabbed my tongue. I had no choice. I had to go. I spent a good bit of Sunday and Monday randomly bursting into tears. It was pathetic. Rocky arranged for me to see Nix's orthodontist. They were beyond amazing. So understanding and quick. Rocky sat by my side the whole time. I felt like a complete failure because I had to have my husband drive me so that I'd stay, and I cried in front of a couple of people there. Rocky says I was amazing because I did everything they asked me to, I didn't balk, I didn't lose it in front of any kids, including my own. I cried when we got in the car, and my stomach has been taking the stress out on me in spurts all week. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that this was harder for me than the year of the breast cancer scare probably because deep down I knew genetics was on my side with that one.
On the upside, I had a man who not only was understanding about my fear, but let me cry and held my hand and encouraged me even when I felt like a failure. Sadly, I am not getting even our normal weekly date with this man because he is in a jazz band. When he puts on his tux tomorrow night and goes to an incredibly romantic venue it will be without me because I don't crash weddings. I have gone into a lot of things being "with the band", but I draw the line at weddings the weekend of Valentine's. The kids are pushing for us to try the after Valentine's banquet at church again this year, but I'm understandably gun shy.
Update: JD got pink eye the day of the church banquet so by not signing up I saved myself the trouble of cancelling. Win!?

Snow Day Craft #2

I spent most of my creative juices on digital stuff because my computer keeps my lap warm, but I started going cross-eyed and found myself making things like this.

It was clearly time for a hands on craft. Before the storm, I bought some aluminum tape so that I could try out a how to from my favorite blog Epbot. 

My end game is to turn a ballet pointe shoe into the tin man, which will be awesome because I also want to make one into a ruby slipper. 

Baby steps first, so I tried a small box. 

First I glued on some things for texture. It was basically just what I could find quickly in my random craft stash. 

I don't have any cool metallic wax stuff to give it the added color, but it turned out pretty cute, especially for a first try.

This is a random thing to throw in, but I just went upstairs and saw JD doing his daily reading. He was on the air mattress we aired up just in case we had friends lose power and ended up hosting people. This is not the proper way to lay on an air mattress. I think we need out of the house.

Snow Day Craft #1

I don't know if you have heard, but we've been kind of snowed in a lot this winter , or at least a lot for Georgia. In addition to french toasting (that is my new term for buying milk, bread, and eggs before snow), I hit the craft store. I have a stack of fleece for cape making, but I am also trying a few new things.

I really enjoy playing around with words in Photoshop, but they never leave my computer. I decided it was time to stop being intimidated by paint brushes. I'm trying out a few different methods of getting my ideas on canvas.

 For this one. I tool my original PS file and turned it all white with a black stroke fx on the words. I then printed it onto my canvas paper, and did it paint by number style.

My first one turn out pretty from a distance, but the labor involved and the messiness of a close look bugged me. I really should have painted the whole thing brown and then used transfer paper to trace on the lettering to paint.

I decided that my next try would be simple. Something for JD. A Doctor Who quote. I gave him the choice of TARDIS blue or fez red. He went with his favorite color.
First, I laid out vinyl letters on a piece of canvas paper.

Then, I painted the whole thing fez red.

Next came peeling off the letters to reveal the white underneath.

Last, I sealed it. It turned out a lot better than I thought it would. I was really pleased. The only hard part was waiting on coats to dry.
Since I wasn't sure how it would work, I stuck to canvas paper, but I intend to try this on a real canvas. I may attempt to mount the ones I have done on paper to wood, but that will have to wait until we can drive on the streets again.
I'm not sure what I'll try next. I bought chalkboard paint and glow in the dark paint, so there is really no telling.
On deck right now is starting a big pot of chili. 

Scarred for Life

When I was about 4, I was playing around in my parents bathroom. This didn't happen often because their shower was where monsters and/or serial killers likes to hide. It was during the daylight hours at the time, so I was able to relax. While in there, I decided it would be a great idea to use my mom's Chapstick. I really went to town with it. I know this because what I had actually grabbed was lipstick, and my face looked like a murderous clown. In my youth I did not stop to think that I might have mistakenly used lipstick. I thought, red = blood, blood = hurt, hurt = pain. I am clearly about to die. To this day the smell of lipstick turns my stomach. It was a traumatizing moment in my life. My mother thought it was a funny little kid moment. I think she might have even made a picture. It wasn't until I was of age to start wearing lipstick and couldn't bring myself to use it, that the impact of the moment really came to light.

I tell this story to put context to my next line of thinking. Do you ever wonder what harmless random event of life will turn out to have traumatized your child? 

My Almost Productive Week

I decided that this week was going to be productive. I had plans to reset my pantry because it is disorderly again. I was going to clean my laundry room because it is gross. Then, I was going to make a dozen capes because there was a fleece sale and I still had bank from Christmas. Today is Wednesday and I have yet to do any of that. I have good reasons. Here is how I killed my productivity thus far.
1. Monday I changed my sheets and put on flannel sheets
2. Fuzzy socks that keep my feet warm but discourage shoes
3. I made rice bags and keep heating them up
4. I used a french press to make tea, which then required sipping and savoring because it was wonderful
5. I had refrigerated cookie dough
6. Netflix has episodes of Chuck
7. I realized that I didn't have a favorite My Little Pony yet. (Twilight Sparkles)
8. Probably worst of all, I turned on my computer.
9. I learned that I like hummus. You can't really eat that stuff while working
10. I started back walking yesterday and have sore legs today
11. The possibility of snow makes me look out the window a lot. Actual snow hypnotizes me.
12. Arm knitting (maybe not, but I felt like I needed an even dozen)

I still have half a week. I could still get it all done. It might happen.

Part 3: JD's Dream

Over the years JD has had several typical little boy dreams. At 4 he wanted to be a policeman because he really likes it when he goes to cross the parking lot and it makes cars stop and wait on him. It gave him a power trip. You get a gun and a whistle. What could be better?
Next was the fireman phase. It was based solely on getting to drive the big red truck. It was a short lived dream. He realized that picking a career based on the color of the vehicle you got to drive was a little silly. He went back to policeman for the remained of his preschool years.
I have a very clear memory of what came next. We were in the car, where all deep conversations start, and he asked me how one can make a living telling jokes. He wanted to be a stand up comic. He was 5. There is something a little scary about that to me, mainly because I think he is serious. Moms want their boys to grow up to be doctors and lawyers and things that provide a stable life. Stand up comedian is the exact opposite of that.
The most recent questioning has turned out a similar answer. His dream is to be a comedic actor or a spy. If recent headlines are to be believed, he could be both as long as he doesn't ask to be paid in cocaine.
I'm struggling a bit with this dream. I want to be supportive. I can totally see him being some sort of comic. He has those things you can't teach, like timing. He takes it seriously. He actually works on it (that is a struggle in pretty much every other area). We are letting him take drama classes this year. He is the only boy in the class. That did not stop him. He has to read and memorize lines. He does this without us helping at all. The only school project he has really gotten into this year involved dressing up as an explorer and giving a short presentation. He was one of the few kids who didn't use notes. He is good at this. So, why do I struggle? Do you know how many people want to be actors? Do you know how many of those people actually make a living doing that? On top of that, it is not a pretty industry. There is rejection and even at it's best it is still harsh and unpredictable. I don't want that for my baby.

He was Henry Hudson. We went for clever over elaborate. 

I'm not exactly excited about the spy idea either. He is too cute to be sneaking around Russia to uncover secret plots. He is too funny to be Jason Borne. I don't want people shooting at my little guy, or him shooting other people, for that matter. I'd never sleep.
That is the thing about dreams. They are rarely practical. They aren't always what other people would want for you. They are often scary. For now, I am finding a healthy balance of supporting the kid's dreams while also encouraging a realistic backup means of support. I can not wait to see what happens. No, wait, I take that back, I can wait. Seeing it comes at the cost of my babies growing up, and I'm not ready for that.
.

Part 2: Nix Dream

In continuing with what I started, I asked Nix what she would want to be if she didn't have to worry about education or money, or even skill, what would she want to do. It took her awhile to answer. She isn't sure what she wants to do with her life at this point. She wants to get married, have children, and teach preschool kids in Sunday School. These are all very lovely goals but aren't exactly college majors. The school system has had her take some really lame tests that are suppose to help you figure out your goals, but those haven't helped. They suggest things like music video choreographer and a brew master (not even kidding). These are probably suggested because she likes taking ballet and enjoys chemistry. For now, she is taking the broad approach and studying a little of everything in hopes that something clicks.
Back to my original topic. Nix finally decided that if she could be anything with no limits she would be a writer. I suggested that she might want to major in something to further that dream, and was met with an argument that I have yet to refute. Her point is that after a certain point, grading a person's writing is subjective. She could get professors that hate fantasy books and will despise her work no matter what. If she did adjust to please the professors then her writing would be their taste not hers, and if they were so good then they would be authors not professors. She has a point.
Thinking through this has given me an idea for her. I think she would make an awesome editor. She'd get to read a lot, correct people's grammar, and make other people's dreams come true while still having time to work on her's. It would also give her a foot in the door to the industry. Bonus! That is even a job that, if you are good at it, can be done from home while you have kids and teach Sunday School. The more I think through this, the better it sounds for her. I just have to be extra careful not to push my idea of perfect on her while still guiding her. It is one of those fun fine lines we walk as parents.

Dreams Part 1

This morning my bestie texted me this picture.

It put me on a thought train.
My first thought was of Tangled and the "I've Got a Dream" song.
From there I went to Molly Lewis and "I Pity the Fool".
Then I really started thinking about what my dream was. Do I have a dream? Is there something that I consider my version of riding a unicorn over a rainbow? There should be. I like to ask my kids what their ultimate dreams are. If you didn't have to worry about how much schooling it took or how much money you'd make, what would you do with your life? (parts 2 and 3 will be their answers)
I have two. The first one, I've shared before. I'd like to be Erma Bombeck. Well, not the dying young part, but the humorously honest writer part. This one bugs me because there is part of my that thinks I could actually do this if I sat down and really got serious about writing. The one thing that stops this dream is me. Do you know how introverted people who can not bring themselves to self promote get books out there? It is really easy, they don't. Unless I change who I am and how I approach presenting myself, I'm going nowhere with this one. I haven't decided yet how I feel about that.
Moving on from that somewhat depressing thought, my ultimate unicorn dream is to be the voice of a cartoon. Seriously. I'd probably pay to have that job. Ever since I saw the Animaniacs, I have wanted to be Dot Warner or a Power Puff Girl or a chipmunk in a Disney movie. I recently freaked my children out by breaking into cartoon me. They made me do different voices until I went hoarse. The look of astonishment on their faces was great.
The first time I remember really wanting this it came from the rant at the end of Dot's song, "I'm Cute". I don't know what it is about angry cute voice that tickles me so, but I love it, and I can do it, and I can't believe people actually get paid to do something so fun. More recently I was watching a reading done at Emerald City Con (Seattle convention). Each year they get a panel of voice actors together to read through a famous movie script in different character voices. They gather legends like Rob Paulsen,  Maurice LeMarche, and Tara Strong to read Star Wars or something like it. (major swear warning on that link) I don't even know where one would start on the road to become Billy West. If anyone finds out, let me know. Right now I am going with the plan of JD becoming a Disney prince and me having a small part being in his contract. It could happen.

My Secret Ship

There has recently been this list floating around with trendy words that people over 30 need to stop using. I'm going to ignore that list just for this post. There was one word that wasn't on the list, and I think it is because it hasn't really caught on with the over 30 crowd. That word is "ship". It is when you wish to see a relationship form between two people (usually fictional ones, but it works for real people, too). Then you make a cute name that is a mesh of the two people's names like Brangelina. After you have picked a ship to hop on you are a full member of a fandom. The next thing you know you'll be reading fanfiction, joining tumblr, and trolling pages of people who want a different pairing. You are full of feels and squee each time your ship progresses towards reality. (translation: overly emotional and making an excited noise only dogs can hear each time you think the couple might actually happen).
I haven't gone completely down that rabbit hole, but I do have a couple I ship.
It is my belief that one day Isabella Garcia-Shapiro is going to wake up and realize that she has been wasting her time following around Phineas Flynn because Ferb Fletcher has been appreciating her and taking care of her. That's right. I ship Ferbella, and I'm not afraid to admit it.

It totally makes sense. We know she ends up with one of them. What if all this time Ferb has been a man of few words because he is too nervous to talk around her. What modern teen girl doesn't go through a British phase sooner or later? Phineas gets so caught up in his grand plans that he doesn't stop to consider her. Phineas is a guy you crush on, Ferb is a guy you marry.

Sometimes for fun Nix and I debate her shipping of Sherlolly (BBC Sherlock Holmes and Molly Hooper). I maintain that it is because I like them both that I don't want to see it happen. Molly deserves better. Sherlock would hurt her, which would hurt him in turn, he'd go back to drugs to dull the guilt, and crimes in London would go unsolved. We can't have that. There are reasons he is alone. Mostly I am just hoping to avoid my daughter dating a smart but emotionally unavailable sociopath no matter how high functioning he is.

Now that I have fessed up, it is your turn. Who do you ship?      

Super Rewarding

Today I made a trip down to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta with a bag full of super capes to donate. I had 14 in all. I'm still a little giddy over it all.
I talked about the idea here in my post Super Funny. After that I sent a cape to my nephew for a test run. It was a big hit.

My ever brilliant sister suggested that I sell a few to fund a bigger donation. Her idea worked better and faster than I would have thought. I got 5 orders just from mentioning it to my "running" group. Thanks to those ladies, I was able to make 14 capes of various sizes and colors, and thanks to an awesome fleece sale, I still have money to buy more supplies. I just ran out of sewing time before Christmas.

I ended up making things a little harder on myself, but with great reward, by adding satin blanket binding to the bottoms of the cape. It brought in more color and has a soothing texture. It required a bit more sewing for each cape, but was well worth it. Other than that it was as simple as cutting them out and sewing on a little velcro.

I consulted with some friends who have had long term and/or repeated stays at Children's. The easy on, easy off with no tying was a very important feature, as was it being washable. The thing the donation lady got most excited about was that I had them packaged individually and clearly labeled. Those two simple things made her work a lot easier (Thanks for that tip Laura!). She was also really excited that I had some that were obviously girly. There is a group that brings capes and tutus to the kids, and more often now girls have been wanting the capes. (happy dance!!!)

I didn't identify myself on the cape tags because one can not reveal their secret identity, but I did include a note on the back. In case you can't read it, I quoted Joshua 1:9 and at the bottom added, "This cape was given in hopes that it will help you find strength and courage during your fight." And, I'm getting choked up again. After I left the hospital I was all grins and floaty until I got in my car. It was then that it hit me that I was free to leave because my kids weren't there. My children are healthy. I went there because I wanted to, not because I had to. It crushed me for a minute, and I had to sit there and cry a bit before I could drive home.

I'm not sure where I want to go from here. I'm not much of an organizer, and tend to work alone. I know a lot of people who can and would help, but asking for it is where I always fail. Maybe once I run out of supplies and supply money I'll put something together. For now, I am just so thrilled at how this turned out, and can not wait to take another batch down there.

A Warning about Arm Knitting

I was pulled in by the promise of a chunky handmade scarf in just 30 minutes. It sounded so easy. You just loop things around and *poof* a scarf. I bought yarn. I made plans. I had a dream.

See here at Simply Maggie for the right way to make this.

I settled in on a video that had several angles and seemed easy to follow

My first clue that I was in trouble was that I only had one thingy of yarn, and there was no way I was going to give myself an excuse to go back to Hobby Lobby this time of year. I'd come out 3 hours later with who knows what and twenty eleven projects that had to get done before Thursday. So instead I unrolled the entire package of yarn and worked from both ends as if I had two packs. Surprisingly, this did not come back to bite me like I thought it would.
From here things went wrong. The following is the progression of my project.

• I discovered that arm knitting a scarf "only takes 30 minutes" because once you get a couple of rows in, a claustrophobic type feeling sets in and you just want it off of you. I'm typing while looking like I have tied myself up with yarn and have a slightly panic/crazed look on my face. Scissors may come into play if I don't figure this out soon.
• I've gotten to the stage where I look like I am making a dwarf beard. Dinner will be late tonight because Thorin's beard is attached to my arm. I get myself into the most absurd situations.
• I'm fairly certain that if I had just unrolled the yarn and wrapped it around me it would look the same as it does right now. I'd like to think it is because of the yarn I picked out, but it is probably because of my awesome arm knitting skills.
• I'd make a picture, but I am literally tied up right now. Thank goodness I ignored that part about using two full scans of yarn. This thing is gigantic and I don't know how to stop until I am out of yarn.
• Oh dear heavens, I have to go to the bathroom.
• 
  

Dobby is FREE!

• I don't even care what this thing looks like. I am just so happy to have it off of me.
• The video said something about finishing techniques, but there at the end I just started tying things into knots.

Once you start this thing you had better have a good hour where no one will need you and you have an empty bladder. If you have any sort of fear of having your arms tied down, don't even think about trying this. The crazy thing is that I am considering buying different non-beard hair type yarn and trying it again. It might make a fun car trip project. Hopefully next time I will get better results than this.

Cow Down

I had to blog this because I don't want to forget it happened. We were gathering for family prayer time tonight when I looked at our manger.

I jokingly said, "Oh no! Cow Down"

JD jumped into action and said, "It's okay, I know mouth to mouth". He then proceeds to blow on the cow stopping to shout, "Don't you die on me" and then "We've been through too much together!" He then raises the cow up and exclaims, "He lives!" It's a Christmas miricale. 

It took several minutes for us to collect ourselves enough to have prayer time after that. 

JD has been on a roll lately. He suggested that a good gamer battle cry would be "For the llamas!" and then proceed to give a shout out "to all the kids and by kids I mean baby goats." 

He makes me wonder what Steve Martin was like as a child. 

Extra Education

Yesterday was world AIDS day, and after reading a couple of articles on the subject matter and a talk with Nix, I wanted to write a little something about sex ed. This is a departure from my normal light topics. Feel free to skip it, but if you have kids, you might want to push through the awkwardness.
Two big things prompted this post. 1. I have a friend who works at a health department who occasional likes to warn moms with things like, "Saw another pregnant 17 year old today. It isn't her first child" and "Guess what kind of VD is going around the young teens."  2. Nix has been hearing a good bit "locker room" talk in high school that prompted me to make a penicillin joke, and she didn't know what I meant.

Still here? Good! First, I want to make clear the abstinence is the only 100% way to remain pregnancy and STD free. It is the method I teach first and most in my house. It is not only for the sake of physical health but also mental health, as I fully believe that sex has consequences outside of the physical that kids can not begin to grasp. Keep in mind a large number of teen see no point in seat belts or why starting to smoke might be a bad idea. Consequences are not their strong suit.
After a brief conversation with Nix about STDs, I realized there was a gaping hole in what has been covered up to this point. There has only been talk of HIV, which can kill you slowly, and a vague mention of generic STDs.
The CDC's site lists 10 STDs by name and also has an "other" category.
For all of our "enlightenment" on the subject, kids seem to still think that if a guy isn't gay, hasn't used needles in the their drug use, and looks reasonable healthy, then they are probably safe. That should scare us all.
Let's talk about herpes for a minute. They never go away. You might not be having an outbreak at the moment and appear fine, but the virus is still there. You are still contagious. FOREVER. Your partner may have only had one other partner who "looked healthy", but that doesn't mean there isn't a chain of herpes in that line.
Let's move to gonorrhea. Most people think of this as a harmless one because it can be easily treated. Here is where it gets scary. A lot of people don't have symptoms. Even when you do see symptoms, it can be mistaken for a bladder infection. By that time you have already passed it on to your partner. Even worse, a woman who shows no signs can let it go untreated for so long that it damages her ability to have children. Plus, it makes you more susceptible to HIV.
Chlamydia is very similar to gonorrhea, but even more common and more likely to go untreated. They report that 1 in every 15 sexually active teen girls has it. Many of them have no idea. They actually recommend women under 25 get tested annual for it.
Now for a fun one, syphilis. The first sign in a small painless sore that may go unnoticed. Then you might get a rash that you may or may not notice. Up to 30 YEARS later it can hit your brain, make you crazy, and then kill you.
Are you horrified yet?
These are the things we need to be making sure our teens know. My daughter is 14, and she knows at least a half dozen sexually active girls her own age. We live in a nice area. Most of my kid's friends are sweet kids. Unsupervised and naive, but sweet. Freshmen girls seem like targets almost. Older guys can show them attention, convince them that "everyone is doing it", and talk them into sex with a lot more ease these days. (Thanks Hollywood!) After that the girls seem to become the predators. If a girl's last boyfriend wanted that from her, but her current one doesn't, then he must not care enough for her. The pressure gets turned around, and even the most gentlemanly of young men start questioning the idea of waiting.
Talk to your kids openly and honestly. Tell them it is okay to wait. Tell them that sex does not equal love. Tell them that they are worth more than that.


On a side note, I am told by healthcare friends that size is a popular excuse for not wearing protection. Did you know that you can put a condom on your foot like a sock? Yeah, size is not a valid argument for forgoing safe(ish) sex.

I'm sorry if this post has been too gross/harsh/blunt/real/horrifying for you. It is important to take a look at these things so that we can do better, and teach our children effectively.  

What I teach my daughter about the "B" word

I'm not exactly what most people would call a feminist. You won't catch me protesting about glass ceilings or demanding my daughter have to sign up for selective service. I have never intentionally lit my undergarments on fire. I'm proud to be a stay-at-home mom, which was my dream job starting when I was very young. Having said all that, I do have my moments of fierce feminism.
Women were the last group of people to have their right to vote established by law in this country. People tend to brush that off without looking at the deeper meaning. It isn't just that we were viewed as weaker and without the intelligence to make informed voting choices. We were viewed as a possession. We were the property of our father until we married and then became a possession of our husband. Sometimes that meant being treasured beyond all riches, and sometimes that mean being treated no better than a stray dog.
It is that last part that I want to drive home. What do we call a stray female dog? It is the kind of dog that has been hurt by people so it cowers and growls and snaps at everyone. Some people respond by beating the dog down further. It is the most despised off all dogs. When you equate a woman to this animal you do more than insult her. You dehumanize her. You put her on the level of discarded property. When you look at it that way, does any man have the right to do that to a woman? Should any woman do that to another?
Just pointing all this out gets me called this word I despise. Why? Because I don't back down. I will not accept it. Words have meanings. Just because you don't think of that meaning when you use it, doesn't change that.
Today my daughter stopped a friend from calling another girl this name. The part that I'm most proud of is that Nix didn't even know the girl being talked about. She took a stand against the casual use of that word.
I have always taught my children that words like that are for people with small vocabularies. With that in mind, I made this handy word cloud of adjectives you can use in place of the "B" word.

Remember, when you resort to common name calling it means you have already lost the argument.

Minecraft Pumpkin

My son asked me back in September if you could buy a square pumpkin. It didn't take me long to figure out what my geekling was actually after. He wanted a Minecraft pumpkin for Halloween. I decided that this would be a fun project to obsess over and ignore chores for.
Step 1: Buy a medium sized square box, 4 different colors of orange, 2 browns and black craft paint. Get out a large ruler and a pencil. (I found the perfect size box at Walmart for less than a dollar.)

Step 2: Get over specific and search the internet for examples (none found? how is that possible?) and then move to pictures to be your guide.  Find this one and print it out.

Step 3: Make a numeric code for colors and plot out a grid like a detail obsessed dork.

Step 4: Draw out grid and numbers onto your box. Make sure you mark one side for the face.

Step 5: Use an exacto knife to carve out a face on one side.

Step 6: Paint until all your dishes are dirty and no one has clean underwear.

Step 7: Glue the top and bottom of the box shut and then paint the top remembering that this grid should contain the stem in the middle. 

Congratulations! You now have the coolest 8 bit cardboard pumpkin ever. 

The good things about this project are no pumpkin guts, it won't rot, and I can save it for next year.

The bad things are that the painting gets tedious if you don't space it out and you can't put a real candle in it (that one isn't too bad because the fake pumpkin lights are pretty cheap)

Learn from my mistakes. Think about what side you put the face on before you carve it. Mine ended up on a side where you see the edges of the top. It would look better if I had done it on a side where the fold was. And yes, I could have just changed which flap folded to the top, but two of the box flaps were printed with a large black UPC which would have been hard to paint over. 

Update: I realized after posting that I didn't have a picture of the top grid layout, which is very different from the sides. Here is the layout I used. 

In case you can't figure out my complicated code, 1-4 are the oranges with 1 being the lightest. B = black DB = dark brown, and LB = heliotrope ... or maybe that was light brown, I forget.

UPDATE: Check out the one I did for 2014

A Personal Victory

I've got this running group of awesome women that let me come and walk behind them. At times, through no fault of theirs, I feel a bit like a sidekick. They talk of marathons and triathlons and I shake my head knowing I would never willingly do any of that. We've picked up a few more walkers recently to keep me company. It has been good for me. My appetite increases on those days and my old leg muscles are starting to appear again. 

I'm not sure what got into me, but I decided that I needed to do a 5K. I guess all the race talk in the group was contagious. Lucky for me, one of my favorite local charities, Whispering Hope, planned a 5K run or walk. It was going to be an evening race in October. Perfect! (I forgot I lived in Georgia. At 5 tonight it was still 85.)

I've had a infuriating amount of stomach trouble lately, so making it through this race was important to me. My goal was to take less than a full hour and to not be last. I met those goals in 45 minutes. I also managed to pass 7 people who were runners and sprint the home stretch. I finished before the woman carrying a baby in a sling and an elderly man who may or may not have been having a stroke. 

I might have finished behind a few senior citizens, several women running with strollers, and a dog, but I finished. My feet and legs feel like they are humming, but I finished. I got my first bib number and a race shirt and a new appreciation for runners. 

Oh, and by the way, I finished! 

Picture Dump

I did an opinion dump recently, so when I did a backup of my phone for the new iOS I thought it might be fun to try a picture dump as well. (click on the pictures to see them larger)

When I first saw this car I noticed all the animals pictured. Then I noticed the child on the far right all alone looking rebellious and had to make a picture.

We had ants this summer and lots of them. The sugar water with borax seems to have done the trick.

As if vanity sizing were not already insane, I found this confusing tag at Target. Size 26 is the new 4? You know what? Being confident enough to not need marketing people to patronize you is the new 4. This is just silly.

This is the handheld smoke machine Rocky and JD begged me to buy at a consignment sale. It is not a bong. The smoke does smell a little funny though.

This is a manhole cover at JD's bus stop and a glob of asphalt he is convinced is a buffalo breaking wind.

This is my stomach goo. It is aloe Vera juice with a few other twigs and spices. It helps with all sorts of digestive issues.

This is a recipe from an old church cookbook just in case you need to know how to cook road kill. My having this recipe is in no way related to my need for digestive aids. 

This is a screen shot of the new iPhone iOS 7. It is girly whether you want it to be or not, and comes with extras that droid users have had so long that the novelty has worn off and they don't use them anymore.

I hope you have in enjoyed the weird highlights of my last 6 months. 

Christian Introvert

I am neither an expert on Christianity nor on Psychology. Please keep that in mind.
This morning I woke up with a real struggle. I'm tired from a hard week. I thought a Saturday spent in isolation (as isolated as one gets in a house of 4) would refresh me and have me ready to face the world again, but it didn't. The idea of going to something where I socialize with friends, listen to music, and be with others almost makes me want to cry. I know for a great many people that sounds completely backwards. Being in a setting designed to uplift and encourage you should be, well, uplifting and encouraging. For an introvert who is already tired, it can be torture.Here is where the struggle comes in. That place I don't want to go is church.
I love our church. I mean really love it. The people constantly touch my heart. The preaching is spot on and always interesting. So, why would I not want to go? Being socially engaged, even with fellow believers, is a switch I have to turn on. It isn't that I'm pretending to be someone I'm not, it is just that I am having to give a lot of energy to being me. Normally, I expend this energy happily, but when I feel like I am out of energy, church becomes a chore. (that is extremely hard for me to admit)
Most of the modern church is really designed for extroverts. There is one event after another in an attempt to give us a holy social life. We are charged to go out and invite others to join us. Music is played to stir our souls. Those are all really great things. The problem is, as an introvert, I don't have any kind of social life and I'm pretty happy about that. Inviting my closest friend to lunch takes planning and several drafts of an email before I finally do it. Imagine what inviting a casual acquaintance to church would be like.  The last time music really stirred my soul was probably many years ago singing "A Might Fortress is our God". A lot of Christians today scoff at the very existence of that song in modern hymnals. Actually, a lot scoff at the idea of hymnals at all. Praise songs are great for people who praise through music. For those of us who don't, it is a neon sign pointing to the fact that we can't clap and sing at the same time. There is nothing introverts hate more than being pointed out in a crowd.
This morning I got up to find my children reading the Bible with a daily devotional, and that soothed my tired spirit. For our house, God is not a once a week visit. Being a Christian is a daily walk. My faith is not going to fail because because half the house has a cold and I don't feel like being around people. Sunday is a day of resting in God and it is okay to do that in solitude every once in awhile.
The other thing I found helpful this morning was googling "Introverted Christians". It reminded me that we are all called in different ways. Even though my faith and service are not always on display, they are there and they are as valid as the front row's.
I hope you all have a restful Sunday whether that means sitting in service singing loudly or sitting in your closet being still.

(this post was not written to excuse an overall avoidance of all church, merely an occasional rest from corporal worship)