Only my love of writing could bring me to share what I am about to tell you all. I have had a day of one embarrassment after another. I had to be at church at 8 last Saturday morning to help set up the OUTDOOR Preschool Easter Egg Hunt. If you weren’t aware of the weather in my area at that time, let me fill you in, it was cold. Not Atlanta cold, but freezing 29 degrees in windy April kind of cold. It snowed near me. It hasn’t snowed all winter, and it picked that day. I’m telling you this not because anything bad happened there, but to excuse the rest of my day. I was working with less sleep than I needed, and a think the cold may have killed a few brain cells.
That afternoon we popped into Wal-mart to pick up a variety of last minute Easter type things. We had ended up going in two cars, our car and my visiting parent’s car. When we headed out to the parking lot I was dragging behind because I was putting up the cart, and trying to grab my sunglasses. When I did get out of the store I realized that since Rocky had dropped me off at the door, I had no idea where he parked. Just then I saw my father’s minivan backing out of a space. I decided to run up to it, hop in, and call Rocky to tell him I was riding home with them. There was only one problem. After tugging at the door of the passenger side of the moving van, I realized it was locked. Then I looked at my dad to get him to unlock it. He couldn’t do that because I was actually trying to open the car door of a complete stranger. I think I scared the poor woman to death. I don’t think I fit the profile of a car jacker, but in the heat of the moment anyone can look dangerous. I am grateful I don’t live in Texas, she might have shot me.
That night we had all sat down for dinner. My earlier actions were the butt of several jokes. After all, my parents were visiting and my father has a knack for not letting things go. He was merciful and we were all enjoying our wonderful ham dinner. JD got restless, as he often does at meal times. He was finding reasons to get up, goof off, and anything else other than eat his food. Suddenly he started looking at me funny and pointing at me saying “What’s that?” We thought he was joking around or asking about the food I was eating, but he became more insistent. Finally, he got up, walked around the table, and tried to get in my lap the whole time pointing and saying “No, that!” This would be the point where Rocky starts laughing. Without going into much detail, it would seem that I needed a tissue and JD was merely wondering what I had up my nose.
After dinner it was time to dye Easter eggs. We covered the table and laid everything out with plenty of paper towels. There was a long explanation about how the dye would turn other things colors too and we all had to be very careful. Guess who ended up with blue hands. That would be me. Just as I was placing an egg ever so gently into the blue dye, it slipped off the spoon and splashed into the dye. I looked like I had grabbed one of those dye packs they use to mark bank robbers and the money they steal. After some intense scrubbing I finally got all the blue off my hands and most of it out of the corners of my finger nails.
So that was my Saturday. I tried to car jack someone, had a bat in my belfry, and tried to turn myself into a smurf. I hope your Easter weekend went a little smoother.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Why is the night unlike all other nights?
Usually as Easter approaches my mind is filled with important things such as what will I wear to church, does Nix have new white shoes, will I be able to find a ham to cook for lunch, and lets not forget those Easter Bunny baskets I have to put together. I hope you all know me well enough by now to know that I also set aside time to rejoice in the excitement of Reserection Sunday, and all that it means. I have to admit that with all that going on I rarely stop to think about the meaning behind this week. I'm talking about Passover. Jewish families all over the world are getting ready for their Passover Seder. Even though I am not Jewish (by religion or descent), Passover is still an important part of my religion as well as history in general. If you aren't fimilar with a seder it is a meal in which the elders of the family tell the children a story from history and answer questions about the past. A Passover seder tells the story of when God helped the Isrealites escape from Eygpt and their lives of slavery. This exodus marked the birth of the Jewish nation. It is tradtion to have the youngest person at the table to ask 4 important questions. All the questions start with "Why is the night unlike all other nights?" and then continue on to describe something that makes that dinner unusual. It starts with asking why you are only allowed to eat unleaven bread. The Jews left Eygpt in such a hurry that they didn't have time to wait on bread to rise, so they took it from the ovens still flat. You eat bread without yeast in it to remember their haste.Why are there only bitter herbs? To remind us of the bitterness of slavery.Why do you dip your herbs twice into salty water? First to turn tears into joy and the second time to ease the bitterness of loss and suffering.Why do we lean back in our chairs? During the time of slavery the slaves were required to eat standing up or, at best, sitting upright. Reclining in your chair to eat is a privilege of a free man.After these questions have been asked and answered, the children are encouraged to ask other questions they might have about their family's faith. There are 15 steps to a Passover Seder, each one rich in tradition and meaning. I often wonder if in the business to prepare the meal, Jews lose sight of the importance of this tradtion in the same way many Christians forget to enjoy the importance of Easter. It usually hits me about the time the paster stands up and says "He is risen!"He is risen indeed!I may not hold a jewish style seder in my home this year, but I am going to make a point of telling the story to the children and encourging any questions they have.
p.s. my spell check wasn't work, so please ignore any typos.
p.s. my spell check wasn't work, so please ignore any typos.
Funding the arts
written 3-13-07
Remember when you were a kid and every year your school would have the same old tired fundraiser? Well, the gift wrap is still being peddled each and every year, but that's not all they are pushing any more. This year Nix's school is having an art show to raise money for the art department. The art in the show is done by none other than your very own child. A company professionally frames your child's masterpiece, charges you $30 to buy it, and the art department gets some of that money for new crayons. I got this really cool invitaion. It has a spot that says "FEATURING" then my child's name and the picture she made. Who could turn that down? Part of me is really impressed at how clever they have been to find a different way to raise money, and another part of me feels like a sucker for paying $30 for my own daughter's refrigerator drawings. None the less, we are headed to Nix's very first art showing tonight. I'm sure it will not be her last.
She had a clever use of color, and the contrast in light and shadow is so well developed. Okay, so it isn't Van Gogh, but I'm okay with that. Afterall, Van Gogh was a loon who cut off his own ear, and I like Nix's ears right where they are.
Remember when you were a kid and every year your school would have the same old tired fundraiser? Well, the gift wrap is still being peddled each and every year, but that's not all they are pushing any more. This year Nix's school is having an art show to raise money for the art department. The art in the show is done by none other than your very own child. A company professionally frames your child's masterpiece, charges you $30 to buy it, and the art department gets some of that money for new crayons. I got this really cool invitaion. It has a spot that says "FEATURING" then my child's name and the picture she made. Who could turn that down? Part of me is really impressed at how clever they have been to find a different way to raise money, and another part of me feels like a sucker for paying $30 for my own daughter's refrigerator drawings. None the less, we are headed to Nix's very first art showing tonight. I'm sure it will not be her last.
She had a clever use of color, and the contrast in light and shadow is so well developed. Okay, so it isn't Van Gogh, but I'm okay with that. Afterall, Van Gogh was a loon who cut off his own ear, and I like Nix's ears right where they are.
Heartbreak Hotel
written 2-14-07
You may be expecting a nice little blog about love or some other Valentine's Day topic, but you won't get that from me. I have a bad history with the whole day of love thing. My sad story starts long before I met Rocky, so don't blame him. The few good ones I have had are because he became determined to turn things around for me. This is not one of those years, but again, not his fault. I'm really starting to think that Feb. 14th is worse for me than any Friday 13th ever could be. Now that I have told my sad tale, I'm moving on.Right now I'm wondering if Elvis is nature or nurture. I'm not exactly a big Elvis fan. I have one or two Elvis songs on my MP3 player. I don't own any Elvis pictures, teddy bears, shirts, etc. There is no Elvis on velvet at my house. I guess what I'm saying is, I have a healthy love for Elvis. The funny thing is, my kids are suddenly crazy about Elvis songs. Nix has about a half dozen of his songs on her MP3 player. JD keeps asking to hear "Rock-a-hula". Have I somehow unknowingly contributed to this, or is it because Nix was born in Memphis. Maybe there was something in the water there that I passed on to her in the womb. I knew the day would come where I would not understand my daughter's taste in music, but I thought it would be over a boy band, not Elvis.
You may be expecting a nice little blog about love or some other Valentine's Day topic, but you won't get that from me. I have a bad history with the whole day of love thing. My sad story starts long before I met Rocky, so don't blame him. The few good ones I have had are because he became determined to turn things around for me. This is not one of those years, but again, not his fault. I'm really starting to think that Feb. 14th is worse for me than any Friday 13th ever could be. Now that I have told my sad tale, I'm moving on.Right now I'm wondering if Elvis is nature or nurture. I'm not exactly a big Elvis fan. I have one or two Elvis songs on my MP3 player. I don't own any Elvis pictures, teddy bears, shirts, etc. There is no Elvis on velvet at my house. I guess what I'm saying is, I have a healthy love for Elvis. The funny thing is, my kids are suddenly crazy about Elvis songs. Nix has about a half dozen of his songs on her MP3 player. JD keeps asking to hear "Rock-a-hula". Have I somehow unknowingly contributed to this, or is it because Nix was born in Memphis. Maybe there was something in the water there that I passed on to her in the womb. I knew the day would come where I would not understand my daughter's taste in music, but I thought it would be over a boy band, not Elvis.
An Apology
written 1-20-07
Brace yourself. I got an apology from my home owner's association. Sometime ago, I wrote about getting a letter about our yard. Rocky was having breathing trouble, and we went on vacation, so there was a good ten days that it went uncut. Never mind that the grass is slow growing and barely needed a trim. At the time I just vented on here and tried to let it go.This week I had the opportunity to talk to a member of a different HOA committe. I think we have more committes than a Baptist church during a remodel. Anyway, I told her what happened and she apoligized. Then I got an email from the head of the grounds committee and he apologized, and offered to help in the future.I found out that a single lady in our neighborhood had been diagnosed with cancer and had been trying to still keep up on the yard work during her treatment. After getting a few letters she finally swallowed her pride and told the board she was sick. Her yard was cut the rest of the summer by various neighbors. I don't know if it was good will or guilt that got the grass cut, but either way, the letters stopped. The odd thing is, I "what if'd" about that very thing in my blog. Maybe I'm psychotic, I mean psychic.It just goes to what I was saying back then. Is it really so hard to knock on a neighbor's door to see if they need help? If they turn out to be nasty, lazy people then write your letter, but if instead they are in need of some compassion, you may find yourself in a position to be a blessing in someone's life.
Brace yourself. I got an apology from my home owner's association. Sometime ago, I wrote about getting a letter about our yard. Rocky was having breathing trouble, and we went on vacation, so there was a good ten days that it went uncut. Never mind that the grass is slow growing and barely needed a trim. At the time I just vented on here and tried to let it go.This week I had the opportunity to talk to a member of a different HOA committe. I think we have more committes than a Baptist church during a remodel. Anyway, I told her what happened and she apoligized. Then I got an email from the head of the grounds committee and he apologized, and offered to help in the future.I found out that a single lady in our neighborhood had been diagnosed with cancer and had been trying to still keep up on the yard work during her treatment. After getting a few letters she finally swallowed her pride and told the board she was sick. Her yard was cut the rest of the summer by various neighbors. I don't know if it was good will or guilt that got the grass cut, but either way, the letters stopped. The odd thing is, I "what if'd" about that very thing in my blog. Maybe I'm psychotic, I mean psychic.It just goes to what I was saying back then. Is it really so hard to knock on a neighbor's door to see if they need help? If they turn out to be nasty, lazy people then write your letter, but if instead they are in need of some compassion, you may find yourself in a position to be a blessing in someone's life.
Tipping a bad waitress
written 1-11-07
Do you tip a bad waitress? I'm not talking about the one who accidently brought you Coke when you asked for Diet. I'm talking about the one who, in addition to the mixed up drinks, they mess up your order, leave one order out, bring cold food 10 minutes after the kitchen made it, makes insulting comments about people they work with, and have questionable cleanliness. Do you have trouble walking away from that table leaving behind an obvious sign of what you thought of her job performance? It occured to me the other day, while I watched a bag boy at Kroger put a bag of flour on top of a loaf of bread, that I don't speak up for myself when I should. Oh sure, I'm all mouth when it comes to friends and family, but when it comes to total strangers that I might not ever see again, I'm mum. Why is tipping now a requirement? I would love the opportunity to give people silent feedback on their jobs, but the one chance I get to do that, I wimp out. Having been a waiter himself, Rocky can not leave a table without tipping. In all our years together I have seen him do it maybe once. Tipping is suppose to be an option. I hate it when you go to a resturant and at the bottom is says it will be adding 15% tip to your ticket. This actually ties into something I was just reading about. The government wants to increase the minimum wage again, and thereby raised the cost of living, and the cost of many services across the nation. How does that tie in? Well, basically the government wants to tell companies that they have to give a big "tip" to their workers even the ones who don't deserve it. Shouldn't we all make what our market value is and not what the government thinks we should make. I'm sure the concept started out with good intent, as most government programs do, but somewhere things went wrong. They want to give our lowest wage earners a 41% raise. When was the last time you got that kind of raise. $7.25 to forget to put fries in my kid's Happy Meal, to put up a hazard sign up instead of moping a puddle, to throw a paper that lands in my bushes. If this increase does go through I may find myself able to resist tipping bad waitresses afterall.
Do you tip a bad waitress? I'm not talking about the one who accidently brought you Coke when you asked for Diet. I'm talking about the one who, in addition to the mixed up drinks, they mess up your order, leave one order out, bring cold food 10 minutes after the kitchen made it, makes insulting comments about people they work with, and have questionable cleanliness. Do you have trouble walking away from that table leaving behind an obvious sign of what you thought of her job performance? It occured to me the other day, while I watched a bag boy at Kroger put a bag of flour on top of a loaf of bread, that I don't speak up for myself when I should. Oh sure, I'm all mouth when it comes to friends and family, but when it comes to total strangers that I might not ever see again, I'm mum. Why is tipping now a requirement? I would love the opportunity to give people silent feedback on their jobs, but the one chance I get to do that, I wimp out. Having been a waiter himself, Rocky can not leave a table without tipping. In all our years together I have seen him do it maybe once. Tipping is suppose to be an option. I hate it when you go to a resturant and at the bottom is says it will be adding 15% tip to your ticket. This actually ties into something I was just reading about. The government wants to increase the minimum wage again, and thereby raised the cost of living, and the cost of many services across the nation. How does that tie in? Well, basically the government wants to tell companies that they have to give a big "tip" to their workers even the ones who don't deserve it. Shouldn't we all make what our market value is and not what the government thinks we should make. I'm sure the concept started out with good intent, as most government programs do, but somewhere things went wrong. They want to give our lowest wage earners a 41% raise. When was the last time you got that kind of raise. $7.25 to forget to put fries in my kid's Happy Meal, to put up a hazard sign up instead of moping a puddle, to throw a paper that lands in my bushes. If this increase does go through I may find myself able to resist tipping bad waitresses afterall.
The Day the Easter Bunny Killed Santa
written 12-15-06
This Christmas is going to be different for us this year. I'm not one to push the idea of Santa. Kids are going to believe on their own and I don't want them looking back on things thinking that I lied to them. I answered all questions as vaguely and honestly as possible. Nix knew that we paid for gifts from Santa and that is why different kids got different price ranges of presents. She wrote him a letter of thanks and left milk and cookies out. She wanted to get him a present to put under the tree . (Yes, my kid is really that good). This year all of that is changed and I blame the Easter Bunny. Nix came face to face with the mall Bunny this year, and that set her on a line of questions. Was the real bunny giant? Where did he live? How does he get around? Then came the big one. She said "I want the truth, is the Easter Bunny real or pretend?" I couldn't lie. I leveled with her and she was okay with it. Then a couple of days later she lost a tooth, and she realized the tooth fairy wasn't real either. It was a good week before she came to me about Santa. She has handled it really well, and hasn't told any of her believing friends. JD has noticed Santa, but he doesn't really get what Santa is all about. So, for this year, we have no one in the house that is excited about Santa. I guess there is always next year.
This Christmas is going to be different for us this year. I'm not one to push the idea of Santa. Kids are going to believe on their own and I don't want them looking back on things thinking that I lied to them. I answered all questions as vaguely and honestly as possible. Nix knew that we paid for gifts from Santa and that is why different kids got different price ranges of presents. She wrote him a letter of thanks and left milk and cookies out. She wanted to get him a present to put under the tree . (Yes, my kid is really that good). This year all of that is changed and I blame the Easter Bunny. Nix came face to face with the mall Bunny this year, and that set her on a line of questions. Was the real bunny giant? Where did he live? How does he get around? Then came the big one. She said "I want the truth, is the Easter Bunny real or pretend?" I couldn't lie. I leveled with her and she was okay with it. Then a couple of days later she lost a tooth, and she realized the tooth fairy wasn't real either. It was a good week before she came to me about Santa. She has handled it really well, and hasn't told any of her believing friends. JD has noticed Santa, but he doesn't really get what Santa is all about. So, for this year, we have no one in the house that is excited about Santa. I guess there is always next year.
Is the force with you?
written 11-10-06
During my daily surf of the world's news, I ran across a video of a couple dressed up like Jedis along with a wookie apparently marching outside the U.N. offices in England. As you can imagine, I had to know what they were doing. It turns out that we just had International Tolerance Day which is sponsered by the U.N. These three people had come to ask that they change international to intergalatic. I kept watching hoping to see the men in white coats with nets come and drag them away. Sadly, that never happened, but something else interesting did. As the man was stating his case he mentioned that according to the last census report there were 390,000 people in England who listed their religion as "Jedi Knight" making it the fourth largest religion in England and as such should be recognized as an offical religion. Having already gathered that this guy was off his rocker, I didn't put much stock in it. Afterall, he had also claimed to have met his better half while attending the Jedi Academy on one of the moons of Pulto. (Please don't get me started on the whole "not a planet" debate, that is a whole different blog). As it turns out, his numbers were right. In addition to the 390,000 in England, there were 20,000 in Canada, 53,000 in New Zealand, and 70,000 in Australia. It is actually 4th in England, but even crazier is that in New Zealand it is second only to Christianity. That is a total of 533,000 people! Even if the majority did it as a prank, that still leaves people out there who have based their religion on a work of confessed science fiction. Come to think of it, in a way, so have Scientologists, but according to the numbers I'm seeing, there are less of them than Jedi Knights. It 's times like this I think to myself WWYD (what would Yoda do). I think he might say "Lost their marbles have they. Unfortunate it is."
During my daily surf of the world's news, I ran across a video of a couple dressed up like Jedis along with a wookie apparently marching outside the U.N. offices in England. As you can imagine, I had to know what they were doing. It turns out that we just had International Tolerance Day which is sponsered by the U.N. These three people had come to ask that they change international to intergalatic. I kept watching hoping to see the men in white coats with nets come and drag them away. Sadly, that never happened, but something else interesting did. As the man was stating his case he mentioned that according to the last census report there were 390,000 people in England who listed their religion as "Jedi Knight" making it the fourth largest religion in England and as such should be recognized as an offical religion. Having already gathered that this guy was off his rocker, I didn't put much stock in it. Afterall, he had also claimed to have met his better half while attending the Jedi Academy on one of the moons of Pulto. (Please don't get me started on the whole "not a planet" debate, that is a whole different blog). As it turns out, his numbers were right. In addition to the 390,000 in England, there were 20,000 in Canada, 53,000 in New Zealand, and 70,000 in Australia. It is actually 4th in England, but even crazier is that in New Zealand it is second only to Christianity. That is a total of 533,000 people! Even if the majority did it as a prank, that still leaves people out there who have based their religion on a work of confessed science fiction. Come to think of it, in a way, so have Scientologists, but according to the numbers I'm seeing, there are less of them than Jedi Knights. It 's times like this I think to myself WWYD (what would Yoda do). I think he might say "Lost their marbles have they. Unfortunate it is."
Is it safe to blog?
written 9-29-06
Blogging may be the only thing it is safe for me to do now.The day started with JD having croup. Then on the way to take Nix to school I got a flat tire. Rocky came to my rescue and it was then time to take JD to the doctor. The doctor confirmed what I thought and put JD on steroids. Then he tells me, "Oh, that will make him hyper". JD hyper, great. What he should have said is that it would give him endless energy while at the same time making him beyond grumpy, as well as giving him a need to sit in my lap and yell all afternoon. Somehow with all this I still managed to get stuff together for the "Treat the Troops" packing today. Six dozen homemade cookies, magazines, and various "add water" foods. Where that may sound like a lot, it was a mere drop in the bucket to what was being sent out today. I would have loved to stay and help but I had the croupy kid and sister with me.When I got home I notice a piece of trim that has been coming off the garage door was finally about to fall off. Being the "can do" gal I am, I grabbed a hammer. The good news is I fixed the trim. The bad news is I hit my thumb in the process. I've decided it would be safer to not do anything else today. I can't take any more. I even left out the part of my day that invovled poop and a running faucet (be glad). Also, JD has decided to go potty standing up like a big boy. Do you know what happens when a little boy sneezes while tinkling? I'll leave you to ponder that one
Blogging may be the only thing it is safe for me to do now.The day started with JD having croup. Then on the way to take Nix to school I got a flat tire. Rocky came to my rescue and it was then time to take JD to the doctor. The doctor confirmed what I thought and put JD on steroids. Then he tells me, "Oh, that will make him hyper". JD hyper, great. What he should have said is that it would give him endless energy while at the same time making him beyond grumpy, as well as giving him a need to sit in my lap and yell all afternoon. Somehow with all this I still managed to get stuff together for the "Treat the Troops" packing today. Six dozen homemade cookies, magazines, and various "add water" foods. Where that may sound like a lot, it was a mere drop in the bucket to what was being sent out today. I would have loved to stay and help but I had the croupy kid and sister with me.When I got home I notice a piece of trim that has been coming off the garage door was finally about to fall off. Being the "can do" gal I am, I grabbed a hammer. The good news is I fixed the trim. The bad news is I hit my thumb in the process. I've decided it would be safer to not do anything else today. I can't take any more. I even left out the part of my day that invovled poop and a running faucet (be glad). Also, JD has decided to go potty standing up like a big boy. Do you know what happens when a little boy sneezes while tinkling? I'll leave you to ponder that one
Hypochondria
written 9-19-06
I was reading about hypochondria today and now I think I have it. Just a little medical humor, but I did have a moment of that today. I was having a very yummy salad from California Pizza Kitchen today when I realized it had fresh spinach in it. Normally I would love a salad with fresh spinach, but since there is a big e coli threat right now, it got me worried. Now I have indigestion and my first thought was "I have e coli!". This is silly on so many levels. First of all, I have indigestion about 5 days a week. Second, eatting salad as a meal always gives me some level of indigestion. So, why is it my mind jumped to a gross virus that hasn't even shown up anywhere near where I live? Of course, if it turns out that I do have the e coli virus I'll be sure to say "I told you so" to all those who doubted me. I'd like to end by reminding you all that it is not hypochondria if you are really sick. Now I'm going to take two Tums and put on my strechy pants.
I was reading about hypochondria today and now I think I have it. Just a little medical humor, but I did have a moment of that today. I was having a very yummy salad from California Pizza Kitchen today when I realized it had fresh spinach in it. Normally I would love a salad with fresh spinach, but since there is a big e coli threat right now, it got me worried. Now I have indigestion and my first thought was "I have e coli!". This is silly on so many levels. First of all, I have indigestion about 5 days a week. Second, eatting salad as a meal always gives me some level of indigestion. So, why is it my mind jumped to a gross virus that hasn't even shown up anywhere near where I live? Of course, if it turns out that I do have the e coli virus I'll be sure to say "I told you so" to all those who doubted me. I'd like to end by reminding you all that it is not hypochondria if you are really sick. Now I'm going to take two Tums and put on my strechy pants.
Hold on to your hats
I've been away for awhile because I discovered Myspace and have been blogging over there. I realized that by making my page ultra-private, I have denied web friends the pleasure of my musings. Well, no more. I am about to start the copy and paste process, and there will be a ton of new things to read here.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Love thy neighbor's grass
I have recently had a run in with my HOA, for those of you unfamiliar, they are the dreaded neighborhood watch dogs. Apparently it is unforgivable for your grass to go uncut for a whole week and a half while you are out of town. The last time we went a little long between grass cuts Rocky was horribly sick and trying to cut the grass would have made it even worse. We were in a different neighborhood then, a friendlier neighborhood. I told everyone what was going on and we didn't get a single complaint about our yard even though the back got pretty bad at one point. I feel so sorry for our next door neighbor because they have harassed her into hiring a lawn service. I wish these people with too much time on their hands would stop and think before they write one of those tacky notes. I can just imagine some poor man finding out he has cancer and then coming home to a note from the HOA about his yard. Which do you think he is going to care about? If it bothers you so much maybe it would be a better use of free time to cut your neighbor's yard for them rather than writing notes about yard care. It could be that this family has something more important on their minds than measuring blades of grass. I can't help but point out the Bible has a lot to say about loving your neighbor and surprisingly little to say on the subject of yard maintenance. I don't recall "Thou shall not allow weeds to grow in thy neighbor's yard" being one of the Ten Commandments. Lucky for me there is also nothing in the big 10 about not toilet papering a snotty neighbor's yard.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
To the movies
Rocky and I enjoyed the rare treat of going to the movies this weekend. Like everyone else on the planet we went to go see Pirates. It was a really good movie, but a devil of a cliffhanger. Now I have to wait until next year to see what happens. I hate that. I'm not good at waiting.Speaking of waiting, Rocky like to get there a good 45 minutes before the movies starts which leaves a lot of time to sit. After we have made fun of the ads that the theater runs on the screen because $8 isn't enough money, we turn to movie talk that, I'm sure, drives the people around us crazy. The problem is we often forget actor's real names and just go with whatever role we remember them best for. For example, if we were talking about Pirates we might say Edward Scissorhand, Legolas, and that girl who wasn't the girl in Star Wars star in the movies. The Shine guy was the bad guy the first time, but in this one it is Slartibartfast. Sure we can remember Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom, but who can think of Bill Nighy or Jonathan Pryce? It is easier just to say the Tomorrow Never Dies guy. If you think that is bad you should hear us talk about X-Men. So if you sit next to us the next time we get out be sure and bring your pocket movie guide if you want to ease drop
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Streaking at church
Today is the National Day of Prayer. Our church has a tradition of having a simple box lunch on this day so that all who want to can take their lunch hour to join others in prayer. It's a wonderful event, very low key, very informal, and still very nice. I was a little nervous for a couple of reasons. First of all any time I know there is a good chance I'll have to pray out loud I get a little nervous. Second, JD has learned to take his clothes off and does so whenever the mood strikes him. I'm picturing him striping down, breaking out of child care, and running through the lunch. Realistically I know this won't happen, but still the thought has crossed my mind. I got seated and started to relax with the other women at my table when one of the women says "I noticed your son has no pants on". I just knew she was talking to me, but she wasn't. She was talking to the daughter of one of the ministers on staff. Apparently, her son is in the home stretch of potty training. All he has left to work on is his aim. After wetting down the bathroom and his pants, his mom realized that the diaper bag was down the hall. She tried to sneak out and grab a new diaper, which her son took as his cue to make a break for it. He ran through the church office displaying all God gave him for the ladies who work there. It is one of those embrassing stories that we will all be sure to retell at his wedding reception one day. All I could think was "Thank God, it wasn't my child...this time."
While I've got your eye and since it is the National Day of Prayer, I'd like to remind you to pray for our country, it's leaders (even the ones you don't like), the military, and anyone else who service our great nation.
By the way, I did get asked to pray. I was assigned to pray for our Congress and the things they face as they head back to work at the end of the month, including the budget and immigration. I used my dad's advice and prayed silently before I opened my mouth and everything came out fine. I hear the more you do it the easier it gets. I hope that is true.
While I've got your eye and since it is the National Day of Prayer, I'd like to remind you to pray for our country, it's leaders (even the ones you don't like), the military, and anyone else who service our great nation.
By the way, I did get asked to pray. I was assigned to pray for our Congress and the things they face as they head back to work at the end of the month, including the budget and immigration. I used my dad's advice and prayed silently before I opened my mouth and everything came out fine. I hear the more you do it the easier it gets. I hope that is true.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Drug Commercials
Remember the good old days when the only medication ads on t.v. were for over the counter drugs. Maybe if they had stopped with allergy and heart burn medication I wouldn't be so annoyed. As if the little blue pill ads weren't bad enough, now they are having them for STD's. I really feel that if the subject isn't something you would bring up at the family dinner table then it isn't something that should be in a commercial during the middle of the day. Isn't it bad enough that I had to explain what tampons are for to my daughter when she was five. Now she wants to know what erectial disfuntion is. How am I suppose to explain that to someone who doesn't know why one needs the function in the first ? I managed to cleverly dance around it, but my point is that I shouldn't have to. Is it so much to ask that they take the veiwing audience into consideration. How about if you show Viagra commercials on ESPN and ads for the pill on Lifetime and let me watch the news in peace.
We have a lot going on on the home front with JD. He is cutting what will be his last tooth for awhile. He will have 16 bright white baby teeth. This last one has been hard. It's taken it a couple of months to finally poke through. The past three days have been rough with the low fever and tummy trouble. He is so pitiful when he holds his jaw and whimpers. He had another first this week, but not a good one. He fell while we were waiting on the bus to bring Nix home and scraped his knee. He took it like a little man and barely fussed at all. It's his first real band-aid and he is proud of it. He has to show it to everyone. We are also trying to start introducing the potty to him. So far his favorite part is getting to take his clothes off, which he will now do at the drop of the hat. I am so worried that he is going to skin out at church one week. He also loves to wash his hands. Anything that involves water is fun for him. So far he is willing to sit on the potty and knows when he has to go, but he hasn't yet put the two together. It's a start and I'm trying not to rush him, but I am excited by the idea of no more diapers. Maybe by the end of summer we will have it worked out.
We have a lot going on on the home front with JD. He is cutting what will be his last tooth for awhile. He will have 16 bright white baby teeth. This last one has been hard. It's taken it a couple of months to finally poke through. The past three days have been rough with the low fever and tummy trouble. He is so pitiful when he holds his jaw and whimpers. He had another first this week, but not a good one. He fell while we were waiting on the bus to bring Nix home and scraped his knee. He took it like a little man and barely fussed at all. It's his first real band-aid and he is proud of it. He has to show it to everyone. We are also trying to start introducing the potty to him. So far his favorite part is getting to take his clothes off, which he will now do at the drop of the hat. I am so worried that he is going to skin out at church one week. He also loves to wash his hands. Anything that involves water is fun for him. So far he is willing to sit on the potty and knows when he has to go, but he hasn't yet put the two together. It's a start and I'm trying not to rush him, but I am excited by the idea of no more diapers. Maybe by the end of summer we will have it worked out.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
So what!
I'm all a buzz today. A local radio guy brought up a topic and then his show ended beofre anyone could call him on it and it is driving me crazy. The guy is Neal Boortz and he is a Libritarian. I agree with him about 75% of the time and today falls into the other 25%. Normally he is preaching about how people should not trust government schools to give their children a good education. We should all pay to send our kids to a private school that will teach the ideals we each personally hold. He is a huge believer in supply and demand. Government schools don't have to submit to this. They can be horrible schools and still not get put out of business. Imagine how shocked I was to hear him go againist his own ideas today by being upset at a private college for their policies.
There is a private funded college in Kentucky that has asked a student to leave do to openly practicing a lifestyle that is againist school rules. This specific student is gay, however the rules clearly say that any type of sex outside of marriage will be met with a request to leave. So, even if this guy were straight and living with a woman, he still would have been asked to leave. Now, if this were a state college I'd be right there with them saying they can't do this, but it isn't. It is privately funded by the Baptists who have set forth a strict set of rules for the behavior of the students who attend their campus. The people who send their children there count on these rules being enforced. The people who donate to this school want to safely assume that their ideals are being taught in this university. The students who apply there are made well aware of the fact that they are attending a college with rules of this nature. If you don't like it then don't support it. If enough people disagree with these rules then the school will either change or go out of business. It is as simple as that. I understand that some people are going to be bothered by this. What I don't understand is Mr.Boortz's attitude towards it, which I would have told him myself if his show hadn't ended right after he said it. Maybe he'll pick it back up tomorrow so I can call in. Then again maybe he won't and I'll just be frustrated at the hypocrisy. I'll just take it out on my blog, after all, it's what I got it for.
A quick cute kid story for you. Monday I got a rare baby kiss on the cheek from JD after which he looked at me and said "Oh, whiskers!" I was slightly offened until bed time came and he did the same thing to Nix. I guess he is so use to getting tickled by Rocky's 5 o'clock shadow that he just thinks that is what you say after kissing someone's cheek.
There is a private funded college in Kentucky that has asked a student to leave do to openly practicing a lifestyle that is againist school rules. This specific student is gay, however the rules clearly say that any type of sex outside of marriage will be met with a request to leave. So, even if this guy were straight and living with a woman, he still would have been asked to leave. Now, if this were a state college I'd be right there with them saying they can't do this, but it isn't. It is privately funded by the Baptists who have set forth a strict set of rules for the behavior of the students who attend their campus. The people who send their children there count on these rules being enforced. The people who donate to this school want to safely assume that their ideals are being taught in this university. The students who apply there are made well aware of the fact that they are attending a college with rules of this nature. If you don't like it then don't support it. If enough people disagree with these rules then the school will either change or go out of business. It is as simple as that. I understand that some people are going to be bothered by this. What I don't understand is Mr.Boortz's attitude towards it, which I would have told him myself if his show hadn't ended right after he said it. Maybe he'll pick it back up tomorrow so I can call in. Then again maybe he won't and I'll just be frustrated at the hypocrisy. I'll just take it out on my blog, after all, it's what I got it for.
A quick cute kid story for you. Monday I got a rare baby kiss on the cheek from JD after which he looked at me and said "Oh, whiskers!" I was slightly offened until bed time came and he did the same thing to Nix. I guess he is so use to getting tickled by Rocky's 5 o'clock shadow that he just thinks that is what you say after kissing someone's cheek.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Go sell crazy some where else...
I read an article this weekend and I'm still trying to figure out if it's just an elabrate hoax. Rocky first pointed it out to me. There was a link on Drudge. There is a professor of biology at the University of Texas who says that the best cure for the Earth is to release the Ebola virus and kill off 90% of the human population. His reasoning is that since all life is equally important (humans= to dogs= to gnats etc.) and humans are making it hard on the rest of the animals on Earth then we should just kill off most of the humans. The way this would work is they would release the Ebola virus world wide and since it is 90% fatal, bam, 5.8 billion of us are dead.
Naturally, I assumed that this guy was dismissed as a total wack job and carted off to the looney bin. Boy was I wrong. Instead they gave him an award, naming him a 2006 Distinguished Texas Scientist.
The funny part of this, to me, is thinking of the people who would survive the outbreak. Lets look at your typical survivor. It would be one of those people who might have graduated high school, and if we are lucky maybe even trade school. They have a stock pile of duct tape, gas masks, and ammo for their .22. If we were all rated by the amount of damage we would do individually to the enviroment these are the people who would score the highest. Irony at it's finest.
I know this guy is thinking that the Darwin idea of survival of the fittest would save the best and brightest, but his idea of fittest and the reality of it are two different things. In the case of surviving an outbreak, fittest means physically fit, and for the most part scientists who sit in a lab all day do not quailify. For that matter, if you are over 65 or under around 14 you can count yourself gone. If you are vastly overweight or underweight your chances are low (that makes me a goner). If you have any kind of physical problem be it a cold or HIV, you are gone, too.
Where do people come up with this stuff and why do other people cheer them on.
As for me I refer you to the title of this entry. "Go sell crazy some where else. We are all full up here."
Naturally, I assumed that this guy was dismissed as a total wack job and carted off to the looney bin. Boy was I wrong. Instead they gave him an award, naming him a 2006 Distinguished Texas Scientist.
The funny part of this, to me, is thinking of the people who would survive the outbreak. Lets look at your typical survivor. It would be one of those people who might have graduated high school, and if we are lucky maybe even trade school. They have a stock pile of duct tape, gas masks, and ammo for their .22. If we were all rated by the amount of damage we would do individually to the enviroment these are the people who would score the highest. Irony at it's finest.
I know this guy is thinking that the Darwin idea of survival of the fittest would save the best and brightest, but his idea of fittest and the reality of it are two different things. In the case of surviving an outbreak, fittest means physically fit, and for the most part scientists who sit in a lab all day do not quailify. For that matter, if you are over 65 or under around 14 you can count yourself gone. If you are vastly overweight or underweight your chances are low (that makes me a goner). If you have any kind of physical problem be it a cold or HIV, you are gone, too.
Where do people come up with this stuff and why do other people cheer them on.
As for me I refer you to the title of this entry. "Go sell crazy some where else. We are all full up here."
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Lame jokes
Nix has been trying to tell jokes lately. It's been almost painful. It remindes me of the days of the "Big Red Rock Joke Book". When I was in elementary school there was this book in the library that we all took turns checking out. The first joke in the book was "What is big and red and hard? A big red rock". It was beyond lame and we all loved it. Since then my humor has changed a bit, but I still have a love of the lame jokes.
A three legged dog walks into a bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
There are a few that will always make me laugh. No matter how bad I feel or what I'm going through. Rocky even whipped a few out while I was in labor, and I still laughed. Some are just plain weird.
Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stappled to the chicken.
Some make you think to the point that they don't get a quick laugh.
Three men were walking down the street. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one ducked.
Occationally you'll have one that is religious.
What goes black-white-black-white-thud? A nun falling down the stairs
What is black and white and laughes like a hyena? The nun who pushed her
All are short, none will ever be repeated at The Comedy Store, and each is only as funny as it is told.
Today I have been in a strangely bad mood. I'm grumpy and short tempered. I hate feeling like that and so I found myself falling back to my old faithful friends, lame jokes. I'm still feeling touchy, but at least there is a smile on my face now.
I leave you with Nix's current favorite. Sadly, she hasn't told it right once, but she always laughs, and I love her laugh.
Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the moovie theater
A three legged dog walks into a bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
There are a few that will always make me laugh. No matter how bad I feel or what I'm going through. Rocky even whipped a few out while I was in labor, and I still laughed. Some are just plain weird.
Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stappled to the chicken.
Some make you think to the point that they don't get a quick laugh.
Three men were walking down the street. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one ducked.
Occationally you'll have one that is religious.
What goes black-white-black-white-thud? A nun falling down the stairs
What is black and white and laughes like a hyena? The nun who pushed her
All are short, none will ever be repeated at The Comedy Store, and each is only as funny as it is told.
Today I have been in a strangely bad mood. I'm grumpy and short tempered. I hate feeling like that and so I found myself falling back to my old faithful friends, lame jokes. I'm still feeling touchy, but at least there is a smile on my face now.
I leave you with Nix's current favorite. Sadly, she hasn't told it right once, but she always laughs, and I love her laugh.
Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the moovie theater
Monday, March 27, 2006
Noprah fans
My mother-in-law informed me of a new movement that is spreading through the country called "Noprah". It is made up of people who are tired of Oprah and her ablity to turn the tides of pop culture and in some cases the stock market. If she says something, it is law. Books become best sellers, records go platinum, and everyone goes on a diet. Celebraties will agree to talk about anything just so long as they get a segment. What could she possibly do next? My answer, go to jail. It worked for Martha. Even I, a life long Martha loather, had to have respect for her after she took her lumps and served her time. I think an argument could be made that if Oprah has stock in a company and then features that company's product on her infamous "favorite things" show, then she too could be guity of insider trading. Her staff knows about the product before it is shown and knows a spot on the show is naturally going to increase sales and therefore make stock rise. Although I'm not yet ready to join the ranks of Noprah, I must say that I have watched her a lot less lately. I can't put my finger on why. It may just be another thing I can blame on TiVo. I've never been one to not like someone just because they are rich, after all I hope to be rich one day. Since I have my own very deveopled since of likes and dislikes, Oprah doesn't do anything to sway my opinion on anything, so that isn't it either. I think it can be traced to a promo ad for a special anniversary show. It was made clear that she thought Tom Cruise was nuts when he was jumping on her couch. Well then, why didn't she say something? Why did she continue smiling and nodding and sucking up? She is Oprah for Pete's sake. If she had looked at him and said "I think you have lost your mind and Scientology has sucked you in and turned you into a joke." then I would have respected her. What is going to happen? Will she stop being popular? Would people stop coming on her show? No she is Oprah. People would have cheered. Instead she waits for the rest of the world to make fun of him and then she starts in. Since then, my Oprah watching has been limited to when she has guests that I like, such as when Dave Ramsey or Josh Groban were on. I also watched when she talked about the town I live in. Sadly, she was talking about the racism she found when she was here in the 80's, and not on the progress we have made since then.
I guess it could be worse. She could have Martha Stewart on.
I guess it could be worse. She could have Martha Stewart on.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Cyber Reunion
A couple of years ago I was suppose to have my first high school reunion, but for some reason it never happened. You know that speech they give you when electing class officals your senior year, telling you to choose carefully because these are the people planning all the reunions Yeah, me either, but apparently they did try to warn us. The most popular theory is that our class president was in jail, but I haven't heard proof of that yet. Today I got a monthly reminder from one of the reunion type web sites that once again no one had updated anything and that since I refuse to pay them money I can not access any of the information even if it was there. It got me to thinking. Most of the people I really want to see again are people I have kept in touch with anyway. All I really want to know is if the cheerleaders are fat, if the jocks have lost thier hair, and if that guy who picked on me is as much a loser now as he was then. Instead of wasting a trip to TN to spend time with people, 50% of which I was never really friends with, why don't we have a cyber reunion. Sign in, post a full length picture of you and your spouse, list your job, the number of kids you have, and the number of times you have been married. Then we could have a gossip section to post things about people who haven't signed up yet. Maybe one of these days I'll feel like putting that together. For now I'll just have to wait another15 years and see if Rusty gets sprung in time to pull something together. :) (btw, I totally made up the jail thing)
I'll get things started. I'm still thin, I have two kids, and one husband. I'm a stay at home mom and loving it.
Oh, and I heard that Susan told Jenny that Ron is an alcoholic, but Sara doesn't know becase Tommy covers for him. the names were changed to protect the guilty
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