Thursday, October 28, 2010

Trick or Treating

Halloween this year is going to be a little different. Since Nix hit middle school, we are cutting her off. She still has a costume, but this year she'll be handing the candy out with me while the boys walk the neighborhood. I'm really looking forward to it, and I think she is too. It will be fun and maybe a little lesson in giving instead of receiving.
I just read an article about a town that has a law saying you can not trick-or-treat over the age of 12. The mayor says that people were tired of 6 foot tall "kids" coming to their door. He went on to say that in "his day" fathers told their kids when they were too old and didn't let them go out, but that is not happening any more. It was now up to local government to handle the problem.
The whole article made me sad. Did this town really have such a problem with this that they had to legislate common sense? Are parents no longer taking responsibility for their own children? There has now become an expectation for the government to control your children for you. The police of that town are now tasked with not only running down people trying to do real harm on that night, but also with carding kids in costumes.
I should probably note that I do agree that being a teen does make you too old to trick-or-treat. If you are old enough to go without your parents shadowing you, then you are too old to go out. At this point it is no longer trick-or-treating it is begging. Get a job and buy your own candy.
I noticed in the comments of the article there were a few suggestions on how to deal with over aged treaters. My favorite suggestion was to toss ketchup packages from a fast food restaurant into their bags instead of candy. This way they don't know who tricked them, just that they got tricked. It also cuts down on retaliation, which is the real reason we still give candy to the big ones. It is either that or sit up all night with your night vision goggles and a BB gun (not that I know anyone who would do that).

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Sick Day Musings

I am in the early stages of a cold. I am trying to fight it off with rest, water, and airborne, but for now I am feeling pretty cruddy. I found myself wishing that I had a replicator like in Star Trek so that I could magically have some earl grey, hot (it's a star trek thing, go with me). In my case it would be "earl grey, hot with 2 sugars, vanilla cream, and decaffeinated, please." Did you catch the weird part? I mean aside from this imaginary conversation I am having with myself about Star Trek (cold medicine, remember?) I would say "please" to a computer. I'm also pretty sure I would follow with a "thank you" when the tea appeared. What does this say about me? Am I super polite or are manners so drilled into me that I would be polite to a brick wall without really thinking about it? I guess I do have my line though because I did not thank the microwave for making the tea I hot when I did fix a cup.
I'm going to take a nap now, thank you.

Monday, October 18, 2010

You Look Just Like...

I was very distracted today in Walmart by a man who looked just like a celebrity. I stared at him a moment too long and he caught me looking at him. I couldn't say anything because I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be flattered by the celebrity I thought he looked like. No one wants to hear, "Hey, you look just like Danny Devito".

Once a teenager blurted out that he thought Rocky looked like Kevin Smith, but taller and thinner and with shorter hair. So, basically he was saying that Rocky had dark hair and a beard, which he does, but Rocky did not take it well. He preferred it when people mentioned his resemblance to Charlie Sheen. Personally, I think he looks like the American version of Oded Fehr.

You always have to consider the source when dealing with celebrity look-a-likes. In Rocky's case the kid said "You look like that dude from Jay and Silent Bob. I can't remember which one he plays, but he  doesn't talk" This guy was not the brightest bulb in the pack, so I think the comment can be dismissed. I also like to exclude the person who told me I looked like Talia Shire. I call it just a weird reaction to finding out my husband's name. Still, it wasn't as bad as the guy in high school who said I looked like Chris Robinson if he were a girl. I am not sure what it says about the guy that he later asked me out. You'll be shocked to know that I turned that smooth talker down. My personal pick is the drunk girl who said Winona Ryder. She was only a little drunk and I am a skinny, pale, dark haired girl. Besides, Rocky agrees and he wouldn't lie.
Speaking of lying, have you ever heard someone say something like, "People say I look just like Tyra Banks", and you instantly want to reply, "People lie", or is that just me?
Fess up. What unflattering person have people said you look like? I promise not to laugh (in front of you) and if it helps you can also tell your most flattering.

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Name Game

My daughter has never been much for playing with dolls. She has a couple that she loves, a couple that are really special to her, and a few that are more like room decorations. However, her animal collection is huge. Her room would put any zoo to shame. Every single one of these animals has a name and no name is aloud to be repeated. After all, you wouldn't name your children the same thing. George Foreman would, but I think everyone realizes that this is not normal. Come to think of it, I did have two great uncles with the same name, but they were only half brothers which makes it only half weird.
I'm not sure how it happened, but I seem to be the official name giver in the house. I am asked to inspect the animal, get a feel for it's personality, and declare the perfect name. With the invention of the very affordable Littlest Pet Shop collection my job got a lot harder. It is one thing to come up with 2 cute names for lions (Leo and Lena- done), but it is another to come up with 15 different names for three inch tall dogs.

(not her actual collection, but close enough)
Right now you can walk in her room, randomly pick up any animal, and she can tell you exactly what their name is. As she is getting older the influx of animals has slowed a lot. I wonder how long it will be before the names start to fade. I know some will always be remembered because I still remember many of mine.
On a side note: Strawberry Shortcake dolls were always my favorite. They came with names. After the more recent release I noticed that they changed Raspberry Tart's name to Raspberry Torte. Probably a wise choice. I think Bratz has the tart market cornered right now.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

It's My Passion

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”- Erma Bombeck

When I was a little girl I remember my mother making a point to watch any time Erma Bombeck was interviewed on television. She owned one of her books, which is really saying something because Mom was strictly a library kind of a girl. All I knew about Mrs. Bombeck was that she made my mother laugh and that was enough for me. Now that I am a wife and a mother myself I realize the really great thing about her writings were they let you know that you were not alone. From time to time, mostly when I am irrationally emotional over everything from a dirty sock in the floor to retro coffee commercials, I find myself deeply sadden that dear Erma is no longer with us. Can you imagine how fabulous her blog would have been?

Tonight I made the mistake of letting my husband fall asleep before me. While he was snoring rather loudly I was trying to remember a few easy remedies from an Erma book I read. I think they involved a brick and/or pillow suffocation. I began an internet search for, “Erma Bombeck sayings”, but instead of snoring jokes I found some of the most stirring quotes about following your dreams that I have ever read. To be completely honest, they made me cry. People usually talk about following your dreams as some sort of happy rainbow filled magic walk, but she talked about the fear, the exposure, and the risk. I felt called out and understood all at the same time. She pegged every bit of why I have never stretched myself for a dream and have always settled for what I knew to be in reach. She recognized how completely and utterly terrifying it is to step out on a limb and yet she was out there on the very end doing it anyway. That is some serious courage, my friend.

After all these years and all the times I have been asked what I want to be when I grow up, I finally have an answer. I want to be a real writer. (You can not even begin to imagine how hard that was for me to type. There were tears and shaky hands involved.) I’ve been playing at it for years and it may take years more to get it right, but at least it is out there in the open being grasped for with both hands.

Our generation has too many “real housewives” and not enough real housewives. We need someone who confesses to feeding their kids Pop-tarts to make us feel better about letting ours have Lucky Charms. Someone to let us know that we are not the only one who has wondered why our mini van smells only to discover a melted carton of ice cream that slide up under the third row sometime last week. These things keep us sane, and with the good Lord's help I want to be that woman. (May God help us all!)

And for those wondering about my oft mentioned tear jerking coffee commercial, here is my Achilles heel.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

A Political Statement

I'm fairly opinionated and I don't mind telling you what that opinion is. Just try me. Actually I am pretty sure that not a single person who reads this will be surprised to know that I am pro-life or, if you prefer, anti-abortion. With most political issues I am more than happy to listen to another side of the argument. I will hear you out, and even consider your point. Abortion is the exception to this.
Today I shared a video first shared with me by my midwife friend Kate. It was of a woman who had survived a late term abortion. To her, abortion is personal. You can not look at her and say to her that one life is not worth birth. It would surprise me to know that people have tried, but I'm sure someone has.
In Europe you have to have a medical reason to have a late term abortion. This is more than just a mother's life being in danger, after all, late term babies are born healthy every day. This clause allows you to abort a child with a specific known birth defect. After reading that, a specific birth defect may have popped into your mind and a child born with that defect. If not, let me help you. I was born with a cleft palate which is a minor cosmetic birth defect. Cleft palates as well as other minor defects such as a club foot were on that list of reasons to abort. This makes the fight personal to me. Abortion doctors, in a way, have listed my life as not worthy. Not just my life but the life of every child born with Down Syndrome, a heart defect, dwarfism, and the list goes on and on.
Are you willing to tell me that my life doesn't matter? Are you willing to tell a mother that she was wrong to give birth to her child?
Many will say that this is an extreme and dark side to the issue used to gain favor, and to an extent they'd be right. It helps to put an innocent face on an issue like this. But if you can see the evil in this then at one point do you draw the line and say an act is no longer evil. Is denying a child life ever not wrong?
I have known mothers who have risked their lives and even a couple who have lost their life to bring a child into this world. They would tell you that aborting a child in favor of a mother's life is cowardly.

I have heard many rationalizations and justifications for abortion, but not one of them makes up for the fact that in every case of abortion the only innocent party is the one who is killed in the process.

Thursday, October 07, 2010


We don't need no stinkin'... oh wait, yes we do!
After much debate JD has agreed to be Clark Kent for Halloween this year, but he will tell you it was not his idea. I'm okay with that since his idea was to wear a sign that said "I want candy". It was direct and pretty funny, but I fear my suburban neighbors might not think it was as funny as we did.
It is coming together pretty easily. I even found a Superman shirt on clearance in Kmart's online store. Someone (I think it was my mom) mentioned that he needed a press badge. You know I could not do that half way. I fired up google and photoshop. I think I will probably change the picture out before I print it up, but here is what it looks like.

I found the drawing of the Daily Planet building here.
I am so excited with how it turned out. I just can't wait to see it all come together. I'll post pics when we do the official try on.
Now I am thinking of making myself a Nerd Herd employee badge just for fun.