Monday, August 23, 2010

You Don't Belong Here

My first question is, why does our Kroger sell perfume next to the canned meat? Are there people whose shopping list says, "bread, tuna, something to make me smell like Brittney Spears, pop tarts, eggs..."?
Next question. Has the man who laid out the redesign of the Cumming Walmart been grocery shopping? Ever? Even the clerks are grumbling about it. They went to all the trouble of designing a snack section next to the dog food, but the cookies and crackers are not there. Cookies are across the row from cokes, which are not in the beverage section. Also not in the special new area labeled "beverages" by a rather large sign, is the coffee. It is with the tea and chocolate milk mix next to the wine and across from the beer. Really? Are they saying that if you buy coffee and nestles quick then you must also need to get liquored up? I'm not saying they are wrong, just questioning when we started saying it out loud. (Only kidding- My house is still as dry as ever). The really funny part to me is that under the huge sign hanging from the ceiling that marks the area as "groceries" is the detergent, an item that most doctors agree should not be eaten. Most of the new layout is just funny to me, but the egg placement is down right stupid. They put them in the milk case. Now when you are looking for uncracked eggs you have to hold a door open and can only reach about 3 different cartons of the kind you need. My dad suggested just taking out the ones with cracked eggs and setting them on the ground by the case until they get the point. This certainly explains why the Midway store seems to have gotten a lot more popular. The best thing I can say about the new design is that I like the yellow they picked for the wall color. It is much less depressing than the old gray.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Dishwasher Law

I am starting to realize that in most homes there is one person who is in charge of loading the dishwasher. In our house it is Rocky. We have an I cook, you clean thing going on which was handed down from Rocky's parents and I am eternally grateful. He doesn't freak out if I put dishes in, but I'm pretty sure he goes behind me and rearranges it before it gets run. It could be worse. I heard a rumor that my Uncle Bill has a diagram to follow, but that may have been friendly exaggeration.
For us, the emptying process is a little more complicated. There is an unspoken rule that if you have to unlock the clean dishwasher to get out something then you do not stop with just a spoon. You unload the whole thing. The main reasoning behind this is the second a dishwasher is unlocked the clean or dirty question gets called into play. The problem is that sometimes we are in a hurry and don't have time to empty the whole thing. We try to compromise by emptying just the top, or only the silverware, and someone will take what they need are re lock the dishwasher like they were never there. (Okay fine, it was me, but I went back later and emptied it)

My parents made me this cute little magnet to help. However, Rocky forgets to put it on and take it off, and JD thinks it is fun to randomly put it on. So, at least once a week we stand over the dishes looking for signs of dirt or water spots. We have gotten very good at it, and I'm pretty sure that is not a good thing.
Do you have dishwasher rules?

Friday, August 06, 2010


How many times have we been told that half of all marriages end in divorce? It is usually thrown at us as an excuse for a commitment phobic not to marry. Sometimes it is used as consolation when a marriage is ending. The other day it struck me that if half end in divorce then the other half end in happily ever after, or at least ever after. It is the glass being half empty all over again. The first time Nikki was asked if a glass was half full or half empty she asked if the glass was being poured or drunk from. To her it was a matter of perspective, and I think the marriage thing is the same way. For years people have used it as an excuse not to marry, but I think it is high time we claim a 50% success rate. It is certainly better odds than you get in the lottery. When you think about it, we accept these odds in other areas all the time. Half of all children are below average, but we don't consider that as a reason not to have children. On a similar note, half of all pregnancies are unplanned. That is creating a whole new life, but I don't see people not having sex over it.
Speaking of statistics, the counties around here have those seat belt signs that let you know what % of people wore their seat belts last month. Rocky pointed out to me that the police don't usually check for that unless they are pulling you over for drunk driving. So really aren't we just saying that 96% of our drunks remember to buckle up before they cause half of all fatal wrecks? Is this really something to brag about?

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

The Church

Lately I have been reading the blog Stuff Christians Like. Let me warn you, if you don't have a sense of humor about some of the silly, odd, and cliched things we do as Christians then you won't like the blog. However, if you have ever been subjected to the wild drivings of a youth bus, tried to teach three year olds to sing, sign, and not dance to "Jesus Loves Me", or debated KJV vs. NIV then you might find it as interesting as I do.

Today's topic was about reacting to what Anne Rice said. I didn't know she had said anything news worthy let alone anything for Christians to react to. Apparently, she went on a rant about leaving Christianity because we all hate women and life and birth control (it was here that I realized she was Catholic) and a whole list of other things that I don't remember being on the church sign up sheet. She is still good with the belief in Christ just not Christianity. My very first thought was, "What kind of church has she been going to and what did they do to her?" Maybe there was an ugly scene of trying to get the vampire demons out of her mind or something. I'd like to give her a hug and suggest she try a Protestant church next time. Not that the Protestants are perfect, you are just more likely to find a branch of that tree that bends the same way you do.

This summer we have seen several churches with several different approaches to the way they conduct themselves. This week I noticed that a familiar name was on the prayer request list. It wasn't someone I knew personally, but a name I have heard repeated all summer at almost every church we have been to. It struck me just how connected we all are as a community and as a church. The name is J D Sexton and he is a four year old boy who was hurt in a boating accident at the start of summer. He went from almost dying, to wondering if he'd lose a leg, to walking into his home. He still has a long road in front of him, but can look forward to a full and normal life. People loving and caring and praying for a little boy they had previously not known is the kind of love I have come to expect from Christians and it pains me to know that other people haven't experienced that kind of oneness.