I am starting to realize that in most homes there is one person who is in charge of loading the dishwasher. In our house it is Rocky. We have an I cook, you clean thing going on which was handed down from Rocky's parents and I am eternally grateful. He doesn't freak out if I put dishes in, but I'm pretty sure he goes behind me and rearranges it before it gets run. It could be worse. I heard a rumor that my Uncle Bill has a diagram to follow, but that may have been friendly exaggeration.
For us, the emptying process is a little more complicated. There is an unspoken rule that if you have to unlock the clean dishwasher to get out something then you do not stop with just a spoon. You unload the whole thing. The main reasoning behind this is the second a dishwasher is unlocked the clean or dirty question gets called into play. The problem is that sometimes we are in a hurry and don't have time to empty the whole thing. We try to compromise by emptying just the top, or only the silverware, and someone will take what they need are re lock the dishwasher like they were never there. (Okay fine, it was me, but I went back later and emptied it)
Do you have dishwasher rules?