Friday, June 16, 2017

You're Kidding Me, Right?

Since I turned 40 this year, and my last trip to the doctor for a simple well physical was in a year that may have started with 19, I thought it was time to catch up on my health. Be a little proactive for a change. This was a horrible idea. Okay, not horrible, it will probably save me a lot of worry and such down the road, but it hasn't been a fun trip.
Through an odd set of circumstances, which involves me getting shingles the week before my scheduled appointment, I was able to have my mammogram early. This is a little sad to admit, but the only reason I could accurately tell them the date of my last mammogram was because I wrote a blog post about it. I failed this one even more spectacularly than the last. The people at the imaging center seemed sort of impressed by how messed up I am. The good news is, it is all harmless, and just who I am. Weird, inside and out. The bad news is, they had to stab me to be sure.
Today was my full physical. I had to fast. Me. Fast. I took food with me so that I could eat as soon as the blood was drawn.
When I got to the office, there was an older woman there who started having some sort of problem that caused a stir with the office people, and the EMS being called. I wasn't sure what was wrong, but I heard them rush them to room 7. Much to my surprise, instead of the old lady, they wheeled out a man with no shirt and only one shoe. Shortly after, I was called back and put in room 7. It smelled strongly of cleaner. None of this is comforting.
The nurse who took me back did everything except send me for my blood draw. It had obviously been a crazy morning there, so I tried to wait, but at 11 I knew I needed food, and asked to have my blood drawn done. As it turns out, the older woman had been fainting (as in more than once), and they were in no hurry to have another one drop today.
As I walked out, two hours later, I realized that the people in the waiting room had no idea of the very unusual day the office was having. They only knew that they'd been waiting an hour, and were probably not happy about it. Then it dawned on me that although this particular set of circumstances was unusual, it isn't unusual for doctor's offices to have to deal with the unexpected on a daily basis. I may be a tad bit more patient in waiting rooms from now on.
 I should maybe mention that since it is my week to fail tests, I also failed my EKG, but not in a bad way, just in a "that's weird" way that wins me a trip to a cardiologist. Hopefully, I will also impress their office with my ability to be weird, and yet completely fine.