Thursday, May 13, 2010

Hey! Wait a Minute

I'm not much of a true conspiracy theorist. Oh sure, I like to come up with outlandish reasons why some things happen now and then, but it is really just to exercise my creative juices. It's not like I sit around debating who shot JFK or if Elvis is dead (totally not by the way;). Today I heard more than one person mention that to spite filling out a census form and mailing it in on time they received a visit from a census taker. My mind digressed from there to wondering if it is a crime to mess with a census worker, then to how many different letters they sent me, to the Post Office, and then on the price of stamps (not my most random train, but still a fun ride). I realized that ever since the big announcement that the USPO was totally broke, I have received three times as many letters from the government as usual, if not more. Take for example my tax return. I got one letter saying I had filed, one saying I was due a refund, one saying they were going to send me a check because they decided not to automatic deposit it, the actual check, and then finally a letter telling me they had mailed the check. I think they spent more in postage than my refund was actually for. This Spring I got a letter saying the census was coming, the form, and 2 letters telling me I already had it and reminding me to send it in. What is bugging me here is that if they can manage to get me a letter saying something is coming then why can't they have also just sent the actual item?
I can think of no area in life where this is normal behavior, nor can I remember it happening before. My only conclusion is that the government is spending a googol worth of money (that is 10 to the 100th power, and JD's new favorite number) to keep the post office running and to create pointless jobs for people with no skills. This also means that my tax refund could have been a lot bigger if it weren't for all of this wasted time, paper, and postage. Wouldn't be a better use of our time to try and figure out why the post office isn't making money even though the price of stamps keeps going up?
I would also like to suggest that if they had put an optional essay question on the census form asking people how they felt about the way the federal government was spending their hard earned money, then they wouldn't have had nearly the problems getting people to mail them back . I might just have to add that to my form on my own next decade.

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