Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Are Bullies Aware?

I'm starting to wonder if bullies know that they are bullies. I know the stereotypical "Give me your lunch money" guy probably knows, but does the snotty girl who is passive aggressively mean know that she is a bully? This past week Nix came out and asked one of her tormentors, let's call her K, what her problem was, and was pretty taken aback by her answer. K accused Nix of thinking that she is better than everyone, and that she was just trying to bring Nix down a peg. Keep in mind that my kid is the no makeup wearing, wouldn't know one boy band from the next, British tv watching, introverted geek (so, me at that age, but smarter). The super popular, athletic, brand name everything, party girl was accusing her of elitism. This was confusing on so many levels.
I have to hand it to Nix, she kept her wits about her and asked for specifics. Nix and K have Spanish together. K struggles in class where as Nix, who has taken Spanish for several years, excels. K sees life as a competition. Since she feels superior when she beats someone, she assumes that others feel superior when they beat her. Nix is winning a competition she didn't even know she was in, and is being punished for it.  It gets better. Other signs of Nix's superiority complex include her advanced vocabulary and lack of swearing.  Apparently, because she does not work to fit in with the mainstream, it is assumed that she thinks they are beneath her. SERIOUSLY?!
Someone who was a popular kid, please tell me this is not standard!
How can it be possible that the bullies are walking around thinking they are in the right and the introverted nerds are the snobs? Was that girl in high school who started hating me out of the blue just reacting to some slight I had no idea that she was perceiving?
Just in case you are wondering, thin people don't really care about your weight. Smart people don't care about your IQ. People are usually too concerned with what they think is wrong with their own appearance to worry about yours. Introverts are not avoiding you, they are avoiding people in general because they find certain types of personal interaction very stressful.
We'd all be better off if we embraced the idea of not assuming what people think because chances are good they don't think of us at all.

1 comment:


Most of them do know, they feel entitled to put you down, because as a non-cool kid, you are not worthy to be in the race. I made this observation early on in Jr.High School, & then carried on in my geeky fashion without a qualm. Some honestly don't know, their reactions are family programed, school has just helped set in stone.