Sunday, September 10, 2017

Big, BIG news

The past 12 hours has brought some rather unexpected news to our home.
Last night, Nix confessed to something she had been keeping a secret. Over the summer, we attended special Monday night church services with several different guest speakers. During one of these nights, Nix became convicted that she had not fully given her life to God. That night, she had asked God for help. She accepted Christ into her heart, and has felt a beautiful change come over her. As a person who remembers her first profession of faith and baptism, I didn't want to question her faith, but I knew that the fruits had just not been there. She tried, but the good seemed a passing phase while there was anger taking root. I feared for her as she was about to enter college, and then all of that changed. Not just her actions and attitude, but also my worry seemed to fade. Now I know why. She told us last night because she knew she needed to make it public and be baptized. She had backed out of saying something a few times. She was worried how we would take it. Would we accuse her of lying about her faith up until now? Would we understand? How could she explain? All of that doubt and worry were put to rest very quickly, and we helped her make a plan to walk forward today and publicly profess her desire to follow Christ. 
During our time talking, JD was uncharacteristically quiet. I looked at him, smiled, and basically said, "It's okay. You can say it. I already know." It all came spilling out. He didn't remember accepting Christ. He had no memory of his baptism. Because he has always been in church, he knew what to say, how to act, and what it should look like, but it wasn't touching his heart. He had doubts. Big giant doubts. Since Nix had just poured out her testimony to us, I shared my own, and then Rocky shared his. JD sat in silence knowing that he had nothing to share. We made it clear to him that this was between him and God, not us. He could not just say the magic salvation words, mainly because there is no such thing, but also because this needed to be serious business between him and God, and done for no other reason than wanting a true and complete relationship with Christ. He wasn't ready to make any decisions. You can probably guess how well I slept last night. The day before I thought I had two kids on a righteous path, seeking God, and all headed towards Heaven. To have that now called into question left me restless in the worst way. As I laid there trying to sleep at 12:30, I felt a sudden pull to go pray at the foot of JD's bed. I obeyed, but walked away confused not knowing why. This morning, I found out why. When I went up, JD had only been asleep maybe 10 minutes. He had been up praying to God to guide him into salvation. JD asked God to forgive his sinful life, asked for the Holy Spirit to come into his heart, and fully committed to following Christ. 
This morning, my kids walked up together before a congregation that they only knew a few of, to a pastor they had never met, and told him that they had both accepted Christ and wanted to make it public this morning.
I don't think proud is the right word for how I am feeling. Overjoyed, relieved, or happy doesn't cover it either. I think I am just very full of all the good emotions available. More than anything I am thankful. Thankful that God caught what I missed. Thankful that He moved my kids, and cared for them more than I ever could. Thankful for the salvation of my entire home. 

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