In addition to the weather, I have had personal horrors this week. Thanks to a couple of oral surgeries, more teeth pulled than I care to dwell on, and the combination of a small mouth and dentists with large hands, I have one of the most common phobias, The Dentist. I have a mini panic attack just talking about the idea of going. It is really far outside of my normal to react to anything like that, which I think makes it even worse. This week my "permanent" retainer detached from one side and stabbed my tongue. I had no choice. I had to go. I spent a good bit of Sunday and Monday randomly bursting into tears. It was pathetic. Rocky arranged for me to see Nix's orthodontist. They were beyond amazing. So understanding and quick. Rocky sat by my side the whole time. I felt like a complete failure because I had to have my husband drive me so that I'd stay, and I cried in front of a couple of people there. Rocky says I was amazing because I did everything they asked me to, I didn't balk, I didn't lose it in front of any kids, including my own. I cried when we got in the car, and my stomach has been taking the stress out on me in spurts all week. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that this was harder for me than the year of the breast cancer scare probably because deep down I knew genetics was on my side with that one.
On the upside, I had a man who not only was understanding about my fear, but let me cry and held my hand and encouraged me even when I felt like a failure. Sadly, I am not getting even our normal weekly date with this man because he is in a jazz band. When he puts on his tux tomorrow night and goes to an incredibly romantic venue it will be without me because I don't crash weddings. I have gone into a lot of things being "with the band", but I draw the line at weddings the weekend of Valentine's. The kids are pushing for us to try the after Valentine's banquet at church again this year, but I'm understandably gun shy.
Update: JD got pink eye the day of the church banquet so by not signing up I saved myself the trouble of cancelling. Win!?